A Contemplative Energy
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A Contemplative Energy
John Paul Derryberry
I took Friday off from work. I dropped the girls off at school and brought the dog with me so he would have a change of pace in his life. I came home, set my phone down upstairs, and retreated to our basement. I proceeded to do nothing but bathe in the silence of our house. No phone, book to read, show to stream, or video game to play. I just actively laid down and allowed silence to enter into my life. A life in social work can be many things, but quiet is never one of them. Plus, if you ever seen me work, you know I do not process the ability to be still, a constant force of energy that bounds from one thing to the next.
It's how I cope with all the problems I'm working with others to alleviate in our community in North Iowa. Lots of energy created those problems, so figuring out the solutions to ease other burdens would take more energy. I always wanted to be someone who provided the energy and the spark to move people into a better place. Whether those folks are my clients, audience, staff, daughters, friends, or family, I wanted to be a source they could return to re-energize. Plenty of good people have done the same for me.
As I lay there, allowing the stress to drain from my body, a thought popped into my head about it being worth it. Few people put all this energy into others, but I kept returning to a small interaction with a client during this period. They have successfully moved to a new program; it's a good start for them. They have been struggling for years. They will leave us soon, but as we finished up a conversation about the next steps, the client stopped me and said, "Hey, if I screw this up, I can come back, right?" I chuckled and replied, "Of course, who knows how many attempts people need to make to be successful?" He smiled and said, "I like this place; you don't throw people away."
Full disclosure: I was beat on Thursday night. I was tired of the job, all the decisions I had to make, and the energy I was putting into it. I needed Friday to destress. We all need that sometimes, a break. We should take more than we do. But that conversation would not leave my mind as I lay on the couch in conversation. It spoke to the force of energy we can put out into the world. We can make folks feel like they can come back to us. Or we can use our energy to make folks feel like we do not want them around. Our energy is constantly communicating something. I had this conversation on Thursday with a client about the exact moment I needed it.
It may sound kooky or like an Eastern philosophical ethos, but I believe the energy we put out there comes back to us. How we treat others, the chaos we create, or the peace we bring to life will eventually boomerang around our world and remind us of who we are. During my Friday re-charge contemplative coach session (Yes, it ultimately turned into a nap; I was exhausted), it arrived beautifully at my doorstep. The energy I put into the world has folks in my orbit believing I do not throw people away. I have no problem with that type of energy coming back my way.