Cooking Games

Cooking Games

John Paul Derryberry

Seeing my wife's family get excited about planning a menu for dinner confused me when I first entered her world. The giddy reactions to planning the type of wings they would make, the salad they would pair with the meal, or the joyful response to receiving a new cookbook for a gift. It was like speaking a different language in a different country. I was often confused by the menu, startled by the type of seasonings and ingredients I was blissfully unaware of before we started dating, and a lot scared about how much food I would have to pretend to like to stay on her good side. Lucky for me, there is a good chef in the family. We eat well.

My wife seeing my family skip through dinner quickly to get to playing games and cracking jokes at each other confused her when she entered my world. The laughter at the same old stories, complaining about the other side cheating, or bragging after the game ended was like her being in a different country. It was like learning the historical lore of a family in one night. She could have gone the rest of her life without knowing the details of the moon boot story. Now, she has heard it at least 10 times. She could have stayed blissfully unaware of Gestures, my mom's all-time favorite game. Lucky for her, my family is funny. We laugh a lot.

In July, we spent 7 days with my family on Lake Michigan, and one of the game nights was feisty. Everyone laughed, and my oldest sat on my lap well past bedtime, getting her first crash course in playing games with the Derryberrys. She laughed and chuckled. She didn't want it to end when I called it and enforced bedtime, just like when she tasted ingredients while cooking with Grandpa, Grandma, and Mom. I didn't know they existed until well into my thirties; she knew them at age 6. She has already tried more new foods than I ever have, and both my girls have. My wife and I often chuckle about how different our families bond, but they are very similar.

We are constantly told to prove one way is better than the other instead of showing how more things are alike than we realize. Watching Anne's family talk about a meal from years ago is like my family recalling the games we played at the house we rented in North Carolina. It's the same love and connection; our medium to connect is different, but it doesn't mean the connection is different. And something magical happens when you start to realize it's the same. You begin to partake in it because it doesn't seem so foreign, and you start to understand their language.

My father-in-law just has to utter the words ribs, and I'm excited about a meal and making sure we have some coleslaw or potato salad to pair. Or my mother-in-law's lasagna. I keep a list of my favorite meals Anne makes, and it just got updated last week with Marry Me Meat Balls. Or my French Toast! That's right; I earned a signature meal for my family. It's why Anne sat with the girls the first weekend we started to learn chess. Games are my language, cooking is hers, and our girls will benefit from both. Whether it is cooking, games, sports, books, or puzzles, many families have many ways to connect, love, and share stories. It's not a foreign language. It's just a different accent from the same language. One, we are all fluent in it if we are willing to try!