Cruel and Unusal
/
Cruel and Unusual
John Paul Derryberry
Recently, a friend asked me about my secret about turning my mental health around. I sent him the gif of the first Avengers movie where Hulk says, "That's my secret, Cap; I'm always angry." I placed under the gif and caption, "That's my secret friend; I'm always working on my mental health." I have never stopped trying to understand why anger strikes me with such force. When I didn't have control over it, that anger was an uncontrollable force that would leave a cruel wake in its aftermath. It's a fact that I have come to peace with, but I will never forget. I have the potential to be cruel, and being cruel is an awful thing to be.
That's what I do not understand about how society and leadership in many places operate right now. It's just cruel. Should we examine how money is spent? Yes. There should be dialogue over what is worthy of being in notices and priorities. Do some relationships run their course and need to end? Yes. Do you have to have and enforce immigration laws? Yes. But to be knowingly and aggressively cruel about it is not anything I will ever understand or support. It leads nowhere healthy. As a leader of an agency and in my community, I know that some choices I make will help some and harm others. It's inevitable; leaders must effectively, thoroughly, and responsibly find a way to make thoughtful choices. What is occurring now is just being cruel because certain people think they can.
This action always brings me back to my time, allowing the worst parts of my personality to control my actions. Anger can cloud judgment and make us create situations that justify our angry interactions or whatever is the worst part of our personality. I would invite my cruel actions to return if I forget and mistakenly say it is no longer part of me. Something I do not want to ever happen. This is my defense against ever returning to the cruel person. It's really the only healthy way to tackle life because we all have sides of personality that are less than stellar.
A teacher who starts saying this student doesn't deserve an education
A social worker says this adult doesn't deserve a path to a healthy life.
A partner who says the affair isn't a cruel thing
A President who says certain people do not deserve due process
A bureaucrat or elected people says certain people aren't human because they do not live by social norms.
A religious person dictating how people live to their values in a place with freedom of religion
A non-religious person making fun of those who believe.
These things and many more are signs of people not allowing the best sides of their personalities to run their lives. This always leads to cruel, unusual, and unhealthy outcomes. I placed some cruel outcomes on some people in my late teens and early twenties due to my actions. It took a lot of work to move through them and trust the better parts of my personality. It will be my life's work to continue pushing my corner of the world away from cruel outcomes, no matter how large or small. I know the damage it causes and the wake of pain it leaves behind, and that's not a place I ever want to myself again.