Sunday Night With John: Extra Weight

“Well, I might have immigration issues so I don’t know what the future holds,” he said between strides. The comment nearly stopped me in my tracks.

It was mile 3, during the umpteenth marathon training run, where my legs and mind had finally had enough.  I had forced myself to push my normal per-mile pace, but, I knew a big slowdown was on the horizon. I just didn't have it today. I neared a street crossing and caught up with a fellow runner heading the same direction as me. He had just resumed running, after taking four months off, and was on his second week. He was stretching out today to do 6 miles, while I was headed for closer to 8 for the day.  Traffic cleared and we both headed the same direction. He was running just a smidgen under my pace time, so I asked if he would mind some company on the run through the city park.

He was a postdoctoral math researcher for the University of Iowa. I learned that he was interested in geometry and how it can be applied to make the world a better place. Well, I thought, he is smarter than me, but I run faster so I’ve got that going for me. We exchanged small talk about what I’m training for--a marathon. He said he only wished he had that type of training focus. I quietly reminded him it takes a lot of focus to get a doctorate degree in mathematics.  He asked me what I did for a living and a half mile passed as we discussed the finer aspects of social work and my master's degree program in public policy.  As we turned the corner on the path that would begin to take us away from the Iowa River, and, the U of I rowing team practicing on it, I asked him what his plans were when he finished his postdoctoral work. He said, "find a job," and then hit me with, “Well, I might have immigration issues so I don’t know what the future holds.” That nearly stopped me in my tracks.

He is from India and is not sure he can stay in this country after he is done with his studies. I decide the anti-immigrant attitude, that has arisen lately in our country, is such small-world thinking.  I shake my head and realize how much extra weight he is carrying while he runs. He runs wondering if he is even wanted anymore in this country. I run worried about my mile splits. He runs stressed about wanting to stay in this country, a country he has called home for the last 12 years.  I run stress-free, only complaining in my head about the umpteenth run of a marathon. We split up at the end of the park trail. He turns around and I head on to hit my 4-mile mark.

As I hit my turnaround point, I spend the last 3.5 miles of my run thinking about the way many females, nationalities, cultures, religions, and minorities have to carry so much extra weight when they live life. I have never worried whether my outfit sends the wrong message, or, if my intelligence as a woman would offend the men in the room.  I have never had to carry around the weight of my sexuality not being accepted.  I have never had to carry the weight of explaining to my kids when someone was mean to us in the checkout line because of my religion. I have never carried the stress a black man, driving a nice car, does when he worries about getting pulled over just for living life. I live most, if not all, of my life never carrying around the stresses these others carry, simply because I was born a white American male. Just thinking about all of this, as I run my last 3.5 miles, slows me way down. I am sad, angry, and frustrated at all the people who fail to see the extra weight we add to people because we do not understand their struggles. We can dismiss the extra weight because, it's more than just foreign to us, it's invisible.

As I finished the worst run of my training, I realized that even on my worst run, and, more importantly, even on my worst day, I will never carry the extra weight so many other people carry.  So I ran 8 miles and my new running buddy only ran 6, but, when you do the math, he ran so much further than I did, carrying extra weight I could not possibly understand, let alone bear.