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John Paul Derryberry
There comes the point when, if you navigate life correctly, you come to realize what a waste of energy anger is. It's exhausting, walking around mad at the world. Do you remember the last time you expelled all that anger and did it lead to anything productive? Passion, drive, disgust, frustration-- those lead somewhere, those stir action. And yet here I am again, just stewing in anger over something I have no control over. Just shaking my head, wishing I possessed the ability to reveal the truth of this horrible part of society.
What am I talking about? All the end of the year self-help guru's coming out in full force—the 11 steps to a better you, people. You may have to sacrifice everything to find your best self, crowd. Let me add numerous fancy words and graphics to my message to sound like an expert, folks. Let me vaguely recite data without providing the source of the data, people. In their moment of zen clarity in their life, they feel they have unleashed upon the world the way for everyone. They haven't and you shouldn't believe them.
In a year filled with little hope for humanity, when we have lost so many lives, the piranhas arrive, hoping to cash in on their well-being. During a period when many face eviction, loss of a job, and face whatever holiday they celebrate with grieving hearts, here come the peddlers of misinformation, telling you they can guide you a better life. I have maintained my sanity during the pandemic through friends, loved ones, zoom, and being lucky enough to dodge any COVID severe cases. I know I'm fortunate for that, but more importantly, I know it was entirely out of my control.
Years ago, I comforted a young gal who was in tears because trained interventionists told her no longer loving her mother was the path to a healthy life. Her reply was, it's my Mom. Who asks someone one to not love their Mom? Such truth in such a desperate situation. We talked a long time about how to love her mother, who may never be a good mom. We also discussed at length how she becomes healthy, knowing her mom may never. It's never family, not family; it's never a choice between the two. It's a trick people use to control you. It's a dirty trick, a villainous hand extended and disguised as a helping hand.
Maybe more than ever in my 38 years, we have large groups of people short on hope and high in desperation. That's never a good recipe for decision making. It's up to the people who have maintained their health during this critical time not to take advantage of those who haven't. It's up to those still functioning to point out the false advertisement of the not-so-beautiful gurus claiming to have something figured out. Today I'm chugging along well in life, but a tragedy tomorrow could have me going from hopeful to desperate. The line between the two is never as thick as we would like.
I hope this holiday season lets you find comfort in people who tell you that you are good enough just the way you are. And when you say, I think I can make some improvements, they ask how I can help, instead of saying I'll show you the way. So let me be the first. Life is crazy, often random. My guess is you're doing the best you can. You are a fantastic person. If you are thinking about making some improvements, good for you, starting your growth path. Just let me know how can I help.