I Got Nothing

I Got Nothing

John Paul Derryberry

My house was so quiet last night that even a whisper would have reverberated around our home. I popped open the laptop to type out my Sunday Night With John. I had nothing; not a single coherent string of words came together. I couldn't even formulate a theme to build this week around. I suddenly felt that when my public speaking and Sunday Nights with John were growing again, I would have to skip a week. It is not the ideal situation, but between the regular job of running an agency, being a storyteller a lot lately, being a dad, a husband, and all the other roles we all fill, I would be resigned to wait a week.

I sprung out of bed at about 6:50 am this morning, and my dreams had somehow organized a theme to put together today for a Sunday Night With John. And the grand idea that popped into my head as the light broke into our bedroom: It's completely fine to have nothing. To not have a solution and admit I'm still trying to figure out how to solve this problem. It's something that I have leaned into throughout my career. Being in the unknown when you spend your days in behavioral interventions and attempting to improve human behaviors is filled with feelings of having no idea what I'm doing.

I have vivid and distinct memories of the first time a former client came at me with poop in their hands, ready to smear. I had absolutely nothing that day as a solution. Honestly, I really do not want to ever meet the person who has a solution in their pack pocket the first time another human attempted to wipe poop on them. That person has too much time on their hands to think through what-ifs and might be a little unhinged if they are prepared for that action. I did my best to de-escalate the situation while not getting someone's poop on me. If there was a video of this interaction, I'm sure it's hilarious and full of mistakes I made.

Having nothing can be freeing if we allow it to be. Suppose we do not allow having nothing to fill us with dread. In that case, it will let it fill us with curiosity about learning something. Once you have something, you are on your way. The thing about having no solutions or path forward is that it often freezes us in our place and gives us a case of considering we are inadequate and not equipped with the necessary skills for the situation. The problem with that thinking is so many talented people have taken a deep breath and looked at a blank page, canvas, problem, culture, and sighed. I've got zip, zilch, and absolutely nothing.

It has taken me a long time to rewire my brain to realize that when I have nothing, I have something unique in life. We have a situation where we can learn, grow, and move through a problem. If the mindset is to move from nothing to something, we have something; let's empathize with a capital SOMETHING. When nothing switches to something, it's always one of the most beautiful moments in life. It's a moment we realize we can create beauty out of nothing, and that's something worth chasing.