Love Is In The Air

Love Is In The Air

John Paul Derryberry

I have just put my youngest daughter down after dancing with her to The Temptations' song, "The Girl's All Right With Me". She giggled and gave me her sly smile of enjoyment as we twirled around our living room. I feel it will be a smile she uses before she tests her limit, but for now, it's my favorite expression of hers. She decided it was time to dance independently, and I watched her hop around in our dining room. It's Valentine's day, a day that I have long felt was rather ridiculous. I don't need a day to remind me to say and show, I love you, to those I love deeply.

Before you roll your eyes at my Valentine's bah-humbug attitude, it comes from a good place. I have long championed the idea that gifts and displays of love should be random, all throughout the year, and always communicate our emotions to people. If we wait for only significant holidays, we may never get the chance to let people know what they mean to us. Say it often, say it out loud, and then repeat it to make sure they heard you the first time. My wife would hopefully back up that I follow this philosophy.

Yet, I have stepped back into celebrating Valentine's day with my daughters coming into my life. Loving relationships are always shorter than we want them to be. We always look back upon what people loved and wish for one more dance, one more meal, and one more night of laughter. It's what makes love so powerful an anchor for us. It reminds us of the good in the world. It reminds us we have a place to go back to where we are accepted, faults and all. I want to provide that for my girls and my wife. We all deserve that because we are all imperfect people attempting to navigate life. I can't imagine navigating life, thinking I'm not loved. The doubts, the worry, and anxiety created from feeling unloved are burdens I wish on no one.

I don't want my girls or my wife getting any of those feelings from their interactions with me, so I own Valentine's day in our house now. I ask for nothing in return because I still find it a holiday I don't support. This is what we do for love; we do things we typically wouldn't support for those we love. Healthy love should result in doing the more beneficial things we would refuse otherwise.

To continue the dance party, I put on Mt Joy the b-side, and my other daughter joins in on the dancing. They both giggle and laugh as they spin around the house to the beat. And I realize I'm getting my gift from my girls right now. I'm more whole than I have ever been in my life. Healthy love does that; it heals, soothes, and provides comfort that we don't realize unless we are looking for it. This brings me back to the original point: my problem with Valentines Day was misplaced. It's not that we spend a day focused on love; it's we spend many other days not focusing on love.