Sunday Night With John: My Mona Lisa Smile

My Mona Lisa Smile

John Paul Derryberry 

I’m sure I am not the only person who hates the way their smile looks in pictures. In my world, it’s because I have not mastered the fake smile. I lack the skill to fake a smile and every attempt to do so has the appearance of me trying to pass monopoly money off as real money. It’s a joke in our house.  Anne takes delight in pointing out my awkward smile in pictures, as I bemoan and grunt out, “I know”. 

But the moments where my authentic smile shines through are easy to tell. Recently a bunch of our summer vacation pictures ended up in a book we created to cherish the memories. To my surprise, every picture I’m in has my authentic smile. Normally I would have been shocked, but I was in my element as we spent a week driving around the Great Lakes, jumping in rivers, swinging in our hammocks, and serving up a fish fry for the ages. 

When I thumbed through the book for the first time, it made me shed a tear or two, because there are moments where I realize how good I’ve got it. I often tell Anne, I never expected to be this happy in life, and that is when the real smile comes shining through. I often think about the time that my dad, who died at 46, and Eric my friend, who died at 17, didn’t get; how many authentic smiles they missed, how many moments and memories they wanted to create but did not get the chance.  This led me to think about how many moments we miss chasing other less important things than happiness. 

As I continue my life's journey, I realize that to travel from depressed and suicidal in my late teens to a man who knows the real definition of happiness in my thirties, has been the defining trip of my life.  One filled with tears, laughs, and a number of fake smiles, and now another, filled with a more authentic smiles. After all these years, and the people who have impacted my life, I know what I’m chasing for the rest of the days I get --  capturing as many authentic moments of happiness as I can, and as many real smiles as burst out. I hope you do the same. It’s the best way to navigate the journey that is life.