The Noise, Noise, Noise

The Noise, Noise, Noise

John Paul Derryberr

I distinctly remember the first time I realized I would be constantly heckled because of my last name. I was in the warm-up line of a junior varsity game in high school. I saw two young students going through the program and overheard them say, they got a kid named Derryberry. The commented,”We are going to all night at this poor Dingleberry kid. I had a good chuckle as I went for my right-handed layup. They did, in fact, chant at every free throw I took. I had a good laugh and missed a couple due to the noise.

And isn't that the truth about life? The excess noise causes us to falter, trip, or give up. Sometimes, it's the noise from external voices telling us we are not good enough or, worse, using intimidation to control the noise around our insecurities. Sometimes, it's our own internal voice that is causing the noise. Thoughts of self-doubt, lack of confidence, and anxiety can have us screaming for the noise to stop, even while we sit in silence. I know that type of noise all too well, with my once thoughts of ending my life drowning out any healthy thought that sprouted.

Unfortunately, for many of us, that noise, whether internal or external, determines whether we allow ourselves to be happy, have fun, and make moves to improve. I have found, through working with so many people over the years, that there is just as much noise in our lives giving us good input. We just reduce the volume of the positive information and amplify the harmful noise to unbearable levels. It's almost as if we hear the positive stuff as a lie and tune it out.

But it's not a lie; people care for us and tell us in their ways. And we have positive internal thoughts if we turn to that station enough. It's not all noise; some of life is beautiful, thoughtful compliments that should dance through our ears just as warmly as our favorite music does. At one point, I had to be brave enough to turn down the internal thoughts of suicide, to trust it would be replaced by joyous noise from family, friends, and people I didn't even know thought about me.

I'm used to being called dingleberry now, and I am used to the garbage, internal negative thoughts my personality is capable of having. I'm also used to the beautiful inner thoughts I can have about myself and open to the good things people say about me. I don't just believe them; I allow them to wash over me just like I let my favorite music place me in a good mood. There is always noise in life. Much of our attitude comes down to what noise we tune into. I hope we're tuned into the correct station.