Sunday Night With John: Running Down A Dream

The first yes came years ago, when I looked in the mirror and told myself, “Yes, you can do this.”  Fourteen years ago, after a putting to bed my scariest inner demons, I realized that getting others to say yes would be my life’s work. A dream to accomplish great life goals does not exist unless others are convinced it is worthy. I had to set out to have others say yes-- to have me in to do public speaking; to gain permission to help them; to have them say they are going to change their life; and finally, a yes from my supervisors to try my unique ways of helping others.  After years of speaking about emotional health, studying the best practices and interventions, and setting goals to achieve in my field of choice-- social work-- the dream remains the same. And, the way to achieve the dream is still to hear as many yeses as possible. 

I have slowly and surely worked on a project, my pet project, for years.  I filed away ideas and concepts. I chatted with many people about the merits of this project. Over the years, I received a lot of rejection. “No, youcan’t do it that way.” “No, it’s not the right time.” Or, “No, that's not the way we do things.”  Our goals, dreams, and life accomplishments are littered with the word no from many people. The difference between those who achieve and those who give up is that the achievers are the ones who find resolve when they hear no. Every no I heard knocked the wind out of me and left my ego bruised. But after licking my wounds and realizing I wasn’t dead, just hurt, all those nos created a greater desire to hear a yes the next time. 

Recently, this pet project has been given the green light it deserves by others who said yes. A former supervisor asked to see the idea in more detail. Four wonderful co-workers and one former employee said yes to helping me develop the idea in great detail.  You see, dreams need help from passionate individuals who help bring life to them. A dream also needs those in power to grant permission for its life to grow, mature, and possibly come to fruition. This is the trick in getting dreams to come to life. My dreams depend on my ability to not give up at the sight of a no, but to run down the next yes. 

My little group had its first big meeting about this project about a month ago, and we heard the sweet, sweet sound of a yes. It was the type of yes that provides inspiration and motivation to push through any self doubt that arises. After our meeting, I jokingly said to the others, "that is one yes, only sixty-nine more yeses to go". Just this last week I was sitting across a table from three people who have the power for this project to take the next step. When the meeting ended and we laid out our idea, but more importantly conveyed our passion for this project, they said, yes.  The dream just grew up a little and will live to see tomorrow. We walked out of the building and I said,  "five yeses down, only 65 to go". 

The yeses are addictive. They have to be if anyone, anywhere, wants to achieve their goals. The world is set up to allow inertia to maintain the status quo. Dreams achieved are the blips that disrupt the status quo. We all need yeses to achieve those dreams. We all need passion, energy, and permission from others to change the world. We all have to understand that, to see our ideas come to life, we are in a race to the next yes, then the next, then the next. Or, as Tom Petty puts it, we are running down a dream. Since my dream remains the same, there is no better move than to say, "yes, I'll run that race".