Sunday Night The John: So Many Views
/I look into a mirror and the view staring back at me is a 31 year old man who has lost is hair, can still grow an incredible red beard with a couple of gray strands, a body that can still play basketball, work out and run with the young crowd. I also see a man who gets up at 5am to email people about my talk and work out before I head to my profession.
More importantly, I feel only semi-successful because I figure I’m about half way to my goals of being national public speaker and eventually opening my own non-profit. I see missed opportunities in not getting everything stream lined until my late 20s, I see my laziness when I fail to get up and email people or make phone call for my talk. To reach my goals I have to spread the word about my talk, no one else will do it as often and as well as I do. I see my aloofness and inability to focus that causes me to rush and or forget things. I feel my stubbornness coming through that often shoos away help or pushes through saying I have to do things my way.
My view is often why can’t I do more, why can’t stay focused, why can’t I be more disciplined. We all have these moments where life takes the toll on us that allows our weaknesses not to slip out but pour out. Those moments when we are all alone and we are reflecting back on the day, last week, last months, or years and we can’t remember a good thing we have accomplished. Or, when we do recall that good deed, we diminish it as not good enough.
When that person is the reflection in the mirror I have had to train my thoughts and emotions to trigger others views of me. My fiancée reminds me that I choose to help people with my life and that is noble pursuit. I’ll get an email from a past audience member telling me I’m funny and that they have a different take on their struggles after listening to my talk. A friend will remind me how hard I have worked to get this far in public speaking and that most people would give in. I forget that there are so many views of me in the world: the view my family has of me, the view my friends have of me, the views of my audience, and the view of my fiancée. All of them are different and all of them are in a positive light.
If I take in the view of my fears and doubts and balance it with the views of other loved ones I get an honest view of where I am in life. I’m still about half way to my goals, but hey I’ve already gotten this far. I’m loved and cared for by amazing people. I spend my days helping others, and the days I get to speak I’m living out my dream. Yes I’m stubborn and sometimes that gets in my way, but sometimes it helps me not give up because I’m too stubborn to give in. Yes sometimes I get lazy, but if I don’t take moments to enjoy some down time, I would miss so many moments. And yes I rush to get things done, and that energy carries me through days I don’t want to do anything. It’s better than no energy and a bunch of half finished things.
We are so many things to so many people. Our loved ones view of us matters just as much as our view of our self. If we found a way to tap into the wonderful view those people have of us we wouldn’t give into the moments of weakness so often. The real view of myself is a 31 year old guy who is excited to get married to a wonderful woman, who spends his days helping others, wants and continues to work to reach a bigger audience, who dreams of having his own non-profit one day, has the best family and friends in the world, who can grow a killer well groomed red beard, and the that view if good from every angle.