Sunday Night With John: At Risk? At Risk of Being Awesome

I have spent the last twelve years working with a population considered “at-risk” by the community at large. I understand why the community puts these types of labels on certain parts of the population, but I don’t always agree with it. Traditionally speaking, growing up in certains areas of a city, state, or country where drugs, abuse, and neglect are prevalent, stats show an individual will sadly, more than likely not be a successful adult. There is proof that missing developmental markers can cause youth who experience the circumstances above will fall behind their peers and struggle to catch up without intervention. I’m glad we are getting better at identifying these young people but after interacting with this population for 12 years, I hate the label “at-risk-youth.”

Using this term is loaded with perceptions and assumptions that lead people down the wrong road. First, it separates us into two different groups: those at-risk and those not at risk.  We are all at-risk to have something happen in our lives that can change our outlook, attitude, and view on life. Speaking from personal experience, I was never supposed to be an at-risk youth but with the death of father at 14, I fell into the category quickly.  On June 22, 1997 I wasn’t at risk, but on June 23, 1997 I was.  It only took one day and one car crash to change my life. As much as we don’t want to think about it or admit it, we are always at-risk to have our outlook on life change after life experiences such as a death in the family, a divorce of parents, a bad breakup, or a change in a peer group can lead to big consequences for youth and adults alike. The attitude that the line between healthy and at-risk is as wide as the grand canyon is lie we tell ourselves to sleep better at night. The truth is the line is paper-thin, but admitting that is scary.

The second problem I have with the label “at-risk” is that we begin to look people who are at-risk like they people who have problems that need to be fixed. We no longer look at individuals and see the skills they have developed in such unlucky conditions. We begin to look down upon and dismiss their point of view and we take on the savior complex and bark at them that we know best. We ask them to share their stories in an effort to show them how we can set them on a better path and it becomes about the caregiver fulfilling their ego instead of the person in need.

The problem with this view is we miss so many amazing and awesome traits, thoughts, and knowledge these people have gained slugging through the muck they have called their life.  This revelation came to me when I was attempting to start a campfire to cook hot ham and cheese with the a group of “at-risk” youth.  I was struggling to get the fire started with one of the teens who spent the first part of her life in another country before being adopted. She grew up in a hut and had to start a fire daily in her house. She interrupted me and said, “John move over and let me do this.” 30 seconds later we had a raging fire going and were finally able to get dinner cooking. She looked at me and smiled, “Tomorrow John when we need to start a fire.  I’ll teach you how to do it.” I nodded in agreement.  She was a freaking awesome fire starter. What other amazing, awesome skills, traits, and facts did I miss on my quest to change the lives of troubled youth? Man I was an idiot.

I began to shift my thinking of these kids from being “at-risk,” to being survivors of difficult circumstances and realizing it took such great problem solving skills, resiliency, and awesomeness to still be standing. It was no longer about saving them, it was about showing them how great they really were and how they already have the skills to be successful in the world. I mean, if you figure out at age 7 the only way you are going to eat on regular basis is to learn how to cook and then you teach yourself how to cook, that is amazing. I’m 33 and I’m not confident enough with my cooking skills to be sure I won’t over cook pizza rolls.

Everyone of us have developed a skill set for life.  Our job is not to tell anyone they’re at risk, but to show them what they have already accomplished and how they will tap into that potential to change the world without needing us at all. So yes they are “at-risk” - “at risk for being awesome.”

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