Sunday Night With John: Dancing In The Space Between

We sat in my office with differing opinions. I disagreed with a choice my colleague had made and this colleague disagreed with how I would have solved the situation. The room filled with tension as our opinions, thoughts, and emotions began to no longer just be our own. Those internal processes entered the office and morphed the environment to take on the weight of our emotions. As we continued to talk and navigate the minefield of differing opinions a productive ethical discussion about how to provide the correct services unfolded and we left my office better co-workers.

Later in the weekend my wife and I attended a wedding. The band remembered us as soon as they spotted us. They played our wedding a little over a year ago.  It only took the band three songs to begin to play my favorite tune, In the Summer Time by Mungo Jerry. I grabbed Anne and we headed to a small space on the dance floor. Anne allowed me to lead, and we carved out space to spin and twirl our way around the dance floor and effortlessly executed a move called “The Pretzel.” We laughed, hugged, kissed, and spun our way navigating the space communicating through eye contact, body language, and a few words. We were having such a good time enjoying our space that another couple began to chat and make their way into our space. The wife of the couple said it looked like we where having such a good time she wished she and her husband could dance like us. Anne told her it’s easy and told me to show the wife a move or two while she tutored the husband on a couple of easy steps.

We teach and learn how to share stuff but we rarely teach the best commodity to share: Space.  The space between a group of people or just two people can tell the story of who they are, were they have been, and most importantly, were the are headed.  We have all been in a room with a person who makes the space feel comfortable, caring, lonely, hostile, angry, and all kinds of assortments of other emotions. But it all boils down to our ability to share space in any and every environment.

Selfishness of the space is one the worst qualities I feel a person can have.  They act and conduct themselves as if only their thoughts and emotions matter. Our feelings and thoughts can only be selfish inside our own head. Once they are out in the world they are in a shared space. Space around us is filled with each other’s hopes, thoughts, dreams, emotions, actions, and they all interact. We have to learn to allow room for everyone, even the ones we disagree with. It’s how I could disagree with my co-worker and still have a conversation. It’s putting your trust in a dance partner knowing you can navigate the space with no words.

We have to find the courage to face a space where our opinions and emotions aren’t the only currency of value. We need to learn how to bump into each other, trip over our own feet, and make a few wrong moves.  If we don’t how we will ever learn to beautifully dance in the space life provides us everyday?

Enjoy Sunday Night With John. Share with others and thanks for reading