Sunday Night With John: First Comes Love!

I recently saw on Facebook that a former employee of mine started her own adventure in photography with some friends. A smile came across my face as she helped a number of kids dive into the world of expression of emotions through art. A number or kids would beam when they showed me the art they created with Tara. I finally emailed her and asked if she wanted to do a little Q & A session about what it was like to work together and have her new company featured in a one of my Sunday Night With Johns. What follows is an edited version of our conversation.

Hello Tara,

Thanks for agreeing to do this! I’m excited to feature your new company, but first let’s take a trip down memory lane. I’ll go first and the obvious question I would love for you to answer is what the heck was it like working for me?

Q: John, Working for you was, how do I put this...interesting? There were days where I absolutely enjoyed your energy on the floor with us, because it was truly uplifting and was MUCH needed when we were having rough weeks.. BUT there were also days where I would have loved, like REALLY loved to lock you outside of the building. None the less, I gained a lot of respect for you. You kept things interesting and you weren’t scared to put us in our place to keep things running as smooth as possible...like a boss. My first question: I never was offered a spot as Shift Leader when the opportunity opened up, but others were that I personally didn’t feel were as qualified, why is that?

A: Wow, coming out swinging, and here I thought we were taking a nice trip down memory lane.  Most of the people I offered the job to had expressed an interest to me about being a shift leader before. I don’t believe you and I ever had that conversation. You had the ability to be an effective leader. There are numerous things I would have changed in my approach to running a program. There were some days where I was running on pure hope, and luck. I would have attempted to slow everything down, process, and respond. I didn’t fully play to my strengths in trying to get that program running smoothly. Nor did our company put us in position to be successful. I don’t think anyone understood the barriers and culture challenges we faced. I learned so much from those two years, my next time leading a new program, I will be much better prepared and also  know what type of leaders I would want to work with.  

Q: I banned sweatpants from our program, I know how dare I? But the next day you and another co-worker showed up in nursing scrubs which cracked me up. How did the decision come about?

A: MAN, I was NOT thrilled about banning sweatpants...so of course we got to thinking “How do we push this new rule without getting ourselves into trouble?" What honestly is MORE professional, that you don’t mind getting a little dirt on, while being just as comfy, than a nice pair of scrubs? Let me tell you, nothing! It was by far one of my best investments while working with you...I still own them.

Q: I’ve never met someone that can explain themselves and speak so well when put on the spot like you can, has that always been easy for you?

A: I was a shy kid who didn’t talk a lot in public  but at home I always had long question and answer sessions with my dad. He would also have me practice processing information quickly. As I aged I came out of my shell and majoring in philosophy in undergrad allowed my to practice talking and to sharpen my quick wit.

Q: What we did for a job was challenging what drew you to it?

A: I liked working with kids, of all ages, and had always worked with kids. When I found out about this company and really looked into the line of work, it was hard to sit back and think there were kids out there with pasts more torn apart than what most adults will ever go through. I felt I had to do my part to help with what I could. For whatever reason, I distinctly remember looking across the hall shortly after I first started, when you were a shift leader, and seeing you and some other youth counselors running around with costumes around 9pm with music playing and kids up walking around.

Q: Did you like being a Shift Leader more than a Program Coordinator?

A: They were different jobs, that said, I loved North Village, that place was special. If you ask me what program was best suited to change the direction of residential treatment, it was that program. For numerous reasons, some people were troubled by the way we did things over there. What you were seeing was passion, a fun work environment, creativity, and compassion intersecting perfectly. I will forever be in pursuit of reproducing something close to the culture we had at North Village. The goal was always to move up and have more influence. So I did love being a program coordinator for different reasons, but man North Village was a special place.

Q: How did your time working with at-risk (I hate this term) youth shape your view of the world?

A: I hate that term as well. I never did like telling people that that’s the “professional” term we used when explaining where I worked. They’re human, and kids at that, we’re all going to act differently if someone shapes us the way they grew up. It definitely has made me realize no one's story is the same.. but it’s not impossible to help them. Shortly after I decided to move you did as well.

Q: Why did you leave the line of work we were in?

A: I’m still in the line of work just with a different company and a slightly different type of population. As to why I left my previous employer, it’s a complex answer. First I was getting married and with my life changing and starting a family, my wants and needs went the only numbers in the equation. I had to ask myself, was the job I was working best not just for me, but for both my wife and I. I also wanted to start graduate school, and I didn’t think I could give my full effort toward a demanding job, a new wife, my public speaking adventure, and school. When my wife and I finally came to an answer the decision was to leave I job I loved dearly in hopes of finishing my education to move toward my dream job.  I was in anguish before and after the choice, but a year and half later, I’m at peace with my choice and very happy with the direction things are going

Q: Do you miss that line of work?

A: I miss that line of work literally all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss the injuries and what not, but I still always wonder how they are doing now. I don’t think that will ever go away.

Q: Years later, the program we worked for no longer exists, do you think it still would be there if you were there?

A: I have no clue, I wasn’t in control of those type of choices but I would have fought like hell to keep it going. I loved creating that new program, I loved working with that population. I think what we accomplished was special and I was so happy to be a part of it. Again, I don’t think anyone understood how difficult it would be to run a program like that, how much energy we needed to dump into our culture to make it successful. I loved the challenged we were presented, I think we rose to the occasion and produced amazing work.

Q: If I remember correctly, you did a lot of drawings when you worked for me, why did you go the route of photography and not fine arts?

A: I didn’t see Fine Arts going far...I will always love drawing, but it’s not something I like doing everyday! I did it every so often and loved hearing how happy it made someone to receive a drawing from me as a gift, but I had a hard time thinking outside the box when drawing. I didn’t realize I liked Photography until I helped edit my engagement photos last year and realized “Hey! I’m good at this!” My dad is a graphic artist, so it must run in the family!

Q: Do you think you’ll ever open up your own Program somewhere out in the open like you used to talk about?

A: That’s the goal, that’s why I am in graduate school, that’s why I continue to share my message via public speaking and this blog. I believe there is a better way to help those in need, the at-risk youth kids of world. I will continue to advocate for changes in approaches, better staff, better environments, and increase in compassion for this group. I will always be in this field, it’s my passion and while I’m rather bias I think my ideas and ways of working this population with help from other great minds could really produce change and new approaches.

Q: What do you hope to accomplish with this new adventure of yours?

A: Same as anything; To succeed, to go far, to inspire someone else along the way, to make people happy! We’re creating memories for people in speciaI moments of their lives...it’s important to capture what not everyone else may see.

Q: You say you don’t feature other people often, why’d you choose me?

A: I always loved your attitude at work, you could tell me I was wrong about a choice but then still be professional. Plus on occasion you would bend a few rules, I always want to help people like that. I keep a list of people I would reach out to if I started my own rehab center and you are on the list. You made those kids laugh, and one thing I believe strongly is those kids were the best judge of character on the planet. They had to be, they had to size people up right away. They would glow when the talked about certain staff and how they were being treated and in my office away from everyone, they glowed when talking about you.

Q: First Comes Love, where did the name of our company come from and how can people find out more about your services?

A: I can’t say I came up with the name, my co-worker April did, but I fell in love with the name right away. Everyone knows the children riddle “[insert two names]…sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, “First Comes Love”, then comes Marriage, then comes a Baby in a baby carriage.” Each of those being a moment most people capture on camera...Love/engagement, marriage, maternity, newborn! It’s catchy! We currently are building our website, but people are able to book us through our First Comes Love Photography Facebook page or by emailing us at FirstComesLovePhotograph@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/firstcomeslovephotography

Q: Any advice for me about having a new adventure?

A: In my public speaking adventure I have learned people seek out and crave genuine experiences. They respond best to honest people who will respect their lives. If you can create genuine life moments and experiences for people and capture them in photos you will go far. People see through the staged moments, capture the uniqueness of individuals lives, what makes people special and you will have to put people on a waiting list.  Good luck, thanks for your time over the last three weeks exchanging emails, and hopefully one day we will get to work together again in the future.

Thanks for taking the time to highlight my new adventure, and I hope you open that program one day.