Sunday Night With John: Going Three For Three

I have doled out the advice, “leave people better than you found them” for years.  I give this advice for two big reasons. First, because it’s just a good life rule to maintain. When you have to say goodbye, see you later, or till next time, is the other person feeling they are a better person for spending time with you? Second, you never know when you might need a little help from old friends. A good college friend always described it as not burning bridges. He would ramble on and on about this thought like it was a ground-breaking notion. I doubt he was the first person on this planet to pontificate about the value of not being mean to people just because the relationship might be coming to the end, but it was good advice one of the elder statesmen of my college bestowed upon me years ago.

We do not often get the chance to gage whether or not we excel at following our own advice. Was I really leaving people better than I found them? Were people walking away from working with me, hanging out with me, or just happen to spend a day around me thinking, this John guy is okay!  I was recently tasked with a project that was going to take more knowledge I than I contain between my ears. I was going to have to reach out to former supervisors for advice, swallow hard on my pride and ask for help. This did give me the opportunity to gage, in a small sample size, did I leave my former three supervisors with enough good experiences with me were they would answer my call after all these years? Did they value our time together enough to give me some of their time now?

I had a long break in my day early this week and decided there is no time like the present to kick start this process. I called three former supervisors and the first two I had to leave a message to return my phone call, but the third answered right away. As I explained my project, my former supervisor quickly offered advice, an email address to stay in touch, and quick thoughts on the project. It was energizing to hear friendly advice as we slipped back into our former roles of pupil (me) and role model (her). I was satisfied with the turnout, 1 for 3 on phone calls is not too shabby. As my break was just about over another former supervisor called back and we talked for ten minutes and I received more encouragement and information on how to proceed with my ideas.

I was flying high and feeling good about going 2 for 3 reaching into my past when the phone rang again and it was my third former supervisor wanting to catch up and lend a hand. He didn’t have time for me right away but if I gave him an hour he could contact me around 6pm and give me an hour of his attention to help out. 3 for 3 and confirmation that at least with these three people I had followed my own advice. I must have done something right for these busy people to respond so quickly to my inquiry.  It’s always a boost in the old self esteem department when you reach into the past to ask for help and your past answers, we would love to.