Sunday Night With John: How We Met

This buddy of mine always used say, “well, you never know.” He said it so much my group of friends knew when it was coming and would say it for him.  He would just smile and say, “You know it is true.” 

4 years ago, I was working with a hyper active, funny, and social client. One of this client’s favorite activities was to try to talk to me about dating life. No matter how many times I would tell this over active teen that I was here to help her and not the other way around; she continually insisted on attempting to inject herself into my love life.

One night this young teen decided to invite her Art Teacher for dinner and asked my permission, which I happily granted. I loved it when our clients were able to create supporting and authentic, positive relationships with their teachers. During the visits most of them spent more time asking the staff or me questions about how the residential program operated instead of focusing all of the attention on the client.  But on this particular visit

The day arrived for the teacher to visit. My client was more then stoked about having a break in her weekly routine. She cleaned her room, put on nicer clothes, and told all her friends she was having a visitor tonight.  The cottage doorbell rang and I allowed my client to go let her visitor in without supervision.  She looked at me funny because it’s technically against the rules for her to be unsupervised in the hallway.  I nodded toward the door gesturing that she had indeed heard me correctly.

She returned with her teacher and flashed a huge smile. She stopped and introduced me to her teacher, “John, this is Ms. Hansen. And Ms. Hansen, this is John.” We exchanged pleasantries and she moved on to interact with my client.  Over the next 90 minutes, Ms. Hansen interacted with my client and did not interrogate me with any questions. When I popped my head in to see how they were doing, my client blurted out, “John, don’t you think Ms. Hansen is beautiful.” I smiled and said she is here to visit you, not get hooked up with me and I walked out. I realized part of the reason she invited this teacher over was to try and score me a date. I smiled because knew that Ms. Hansen came out of the goodness of her heart, to get to know the client better, and to make the client feel special. Ms. Hansen wasn’t here to get information on residential treatment, which many who visited do.

I allowed my client to walk Ms. Hansen to the door when their visit was over. My client came running down the hallway beaming with joy. She turned the corner and yelled, “John, you so have to date Ms. Hansen, she is perfect in everyway.” I laughed and said she was here to visit you and I don’t think she appreciates you attempting to set her up. She looked at me in all seriousness and said, “John you are such a great person, you deserve someone great too.”  When the night ended my client again reminded me to think about dating Ms. Hansen, reminding me it would be good for me.

As she was talking I was thinking about the joy beaming from my client as Ms. Hansen left and I thought to myself, my client is right. Ms. Hansen has something going for her if she is willing to drive an hour round trip to visit her student and had the ability to leave my client feeling cared for. Maybe she is someone I should at least attempt to date?  I sent an email thanking her for visiting my client and Ms. Hansen sent an email back. I sent a second email and she sent a second email back.  Then I went out on a leap and called her and we chatted on the phone for about 45 minutes and set up our first date.  Finally I got in my car and drove the 30-minute to Iowa City not remembering exactly what Ms. Hansen looked like, but I already knew how beautiful she was.

A year ago today, Ms. Hansen and I said, “I do.” I guess my client was right and so was my friend with his stupid cliché saying. If anyone would have told me you would meet your future wife and the most beautiful person through an at-risk-teen I would have laughed you out of the room.  We have to learn to be open to numerous solutions, outcomes, and people, because you really never know.

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife, and editor of Sunday Night With John (Not an easy job) and a big thank you to the client who dared to help me find love, because I did.