Sunday Night With John: Mama Derryberry Says....

I have worked with youth since I was 19 years old.  The kids have always been fascinated with my last name.  The giggle about it, they don’t think it is real; they ask numerous questions about it and ask about how much did I get picked when I was growing up with a name like that?  I also learned at a young age that these kids would always struggle to listen to my advice because we all kind of struggle to take advice from the person sitting in front of us. I know I struggled with trusting my mom’s advice when she bestowed it upon me all those years ago. I would always think, what could my mom know more than me?  After about two weeks into my career of working with youth, I realized they would think what could John know about life more than me?

For a way to educate, guide, and work with youth, I began to change my approach with the kids. I re-created my mom as a kind of character and dubbed her “Mama Derryberry.” When a situation came up where I wanted to correct a choice, or just offer up a way to move through a difficult situation, I would throw out the this statement first, “You know what Mama Derryberry would used to tell me,” or “Mama Derryberry used to tell me,” or “You know what Mama Derryberry would tell me.”  But I did always use actual advice my mom gave me.

A number of kids stopped and began to listen to my mom’s advice that I ignored throughout my youth.  My little ploy deepened when I would answer phone calls from my mom while interacting with the kids I work with. The kids began to ask was that Mama Derryberry?  When I would answer they would ask, “Does she really give out advice like that?” I would chuckle and nod my head in agreement.  The best was when one of the kids would see a situation where advice from Mama Derryberry was applicable.  I would hear, “Well you know Mama Derryberry would say, this too shall pass so don’t over react” and I would agree.

The most reoccurring advice that I give through my mom is as follows:

Mama Derryberry says this to shall past.

Mama Derryberry used to always tell me you are defined by whom you spend your time with.

Mama Derryberry just reminded me, pride before the fall.

Mama Derryberry says works hard, and don’t take short cuts.

Mama Derryberry says who you date and marry says a lot about your character.

The greatest compliment I can give my mom is to say I should have listened to her advice when I was younger and that I find enjoyment in passing down her advice to kids every day.  Although my mom may be upset that I’m just admitting that she was correct when I told her she knew nothing. I just hope she can take her own advice, because the greatest advice I have ever got from mom was Mama Derryberry says, “it matters where you put the focus”, and I hope she puts the focus on the fact that I’m using her advice now.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone and to my Mama Derryberry, I love you and thanks for everything over all these years.