Sunday Night With John: The Red Hooded SweatShirt

I was just a young adult, maybe 24, with an idea that I could talk about emotions and have people listen. Having experienced my fair share of loss, grief and anger at such a young age, I had to find a way to help others dealing with the same struggles.  My goal was to infuse a sense of humor, honesty, and passion that would get people to see that emotions affect our every move, thought and understand that they either infect our relationships, or heal them. My first talk was a train wreck of nerves.  I can remember my leg shaking so badly behind the podium I was presenting from that it felt like a jackhammer. I decided then no more talks from a podium; I would allow my energy to move me around the area I was speaking. It was an effective solution that improved my talk immediately.

The beginning of my public speaking journey continued on a visit to see my family in Ohio.  Feeling slightly more confident with 5 talks under my belt, I drove the ten hours home and planned to go visit a rehabilitation center near my hometown in Buffalo, New York to give my talk.

I looked over my notes as 60 teenagers flowed into the training room they had set up to host my talk.  They entered and chatted amongst themselves, beaming with excitement to have a break in their routine.  I could also tell that they entered the room with nervousness and trepidation about an unknown man who was going to challenge them to face their own emotional struggles. 

I specifically remember one young kid who walked in with a red-hood sweatshirt. My eyes followed him because he moved quickly to his chair and sat down sinking as low as he could into his seat. His energy was in direct contrast to the rest of the positive energy the other teens brought with them into the room.  As he sunk down, he immediately flipped his hood up and his eyes went to the floor.

I begin my talk and the room filled laughter and the kids began to engage with my message. I asked for some volunteers for activities I had planned and the red hooded sweatshirt boy just continued to stare into the floor avoided eye contact at all costs. 

As my talk continued to weave in and out of the ups and downs of my life, I arrived at part of my talk that detailed the death of my father and best friend; Eric and I began to deliver the heart of my message.  I could feel the room dial in and sway with my movements, but the red-hooded sweatshirt boy continued to bury his eyes deep into the floor. I continue to express my emotions surrounding the witnessing Eric’s death, my best friend, at age 17. I talk about going numb after that moment and feeling that I had changed.  I share with the audience about how I thought about talking my own life because I didn’t have the ability to share my emotions with anyone because I didn’t think anyone could relate to what I had experienced.

Finally, I wrap up my story ask for questions and feedback.  The students’ hands shot up and they began to share their own stories and asked me question about how I found the courage to share emotions and how to encourage others to share their emotions.

As the students continued to share their stories the room felt so full of life and I could tell that everyone was comfortable around one another even though they were digging up emotions that they want to forget.  As my eyes continued to scan the room, I couldn’t help but keep an eye on the red hooded sweatshirt boy as I thought the other kids opening up would have an impact. Still he had no body movement, no adjusting in his seat and no hint that my talk landed any impact on him.

I wrapped up the event and kids came up and shook my hand, hugged me and asked for my website address. The kids filed out glowing and the adults in charge of their care said thanks and commented on how they had never seen this group be so honest with each other about their worries, past, and the deep hurt they carried with them. I thanked everyone for their compliments, and hoped the sharing, honesty, and rush to be emotionally healthy would carry over in their culture for some time.

As I packed up my things, I look over at a staff member who was sitting with the red-hooded sweatshirt boy asking him to get up and transition back his room. After all the other kids left the room, this boy who hadn’t moved in 65 minutes stood up and walked my direction. He took off his hood and I could see a stream of tears had been coming down his face throughout my talk. He shook my hand and stated that he had witnessed the death of his best friend and never in his wildest dreams did he think he would run into someone who had the same experience.  He stated, “Thank you, Thank you so much,” and then turned and walked out of the room with his red hood returned to cover his head.

The director who hired me said that he has been here 6 months and they had been struggling to get anything out of this young. She stated I had renewed her hope they could help this young man through painful journey of grief and rebuilding.  That young-man forged my passion into a resolve that my idea I could change lives by being funny, honest, and talking with passion about the emotions. I was no longer a young adult with an idea; I was a young man with the desire, a resolve, and passion to see this through.  This young man in the red sweatshirt was just like me, someone who needed a connection to begin their emotional healing. 

Always remind yourself to keep sharing your story and those who appear to not be listening just might be listening the most!

If you know of any group that needs a wonderful emotional event, please message me about public speaking with your group and as always please share my blog, like my facebook page, follow me on twitter, or you can just keep stopping by and reading my blog. Have a great day