Sunsets on the Pacific

Sunsets on the Pacific

John Paul Derryberry

I have seen sunsets on the Pacific and sunrises on the Atlantic. I have cried tears of joy and shed tears of sadness over the loss of that joy. I have transformed from a selfish, unreliable, angry child to a dedicated, passionate, and driven father and husband. I have witnessed the astonishing transformation of many who put their abuse and past behind them. I have also seen many lose that same battle to their crutch and wonder, what if?.  In those moments, I gently take my next steps to recover from their loss. I prepare myself for the next challenge, and whether we win or lose, I want it to reveal something grander about life. 

Propelling me forward is the beauty of it all. This notion that on one rock in our vast universe breathing with life, we are more. There are beautiful landscapes, the lunches on top of a peak. There are long weekend with friends, the tackles from my girls, the embraces from my wife. There is the real hard grief that comes from loss and the sad goodbyes that we hope aren't the final goodbyes. There is the notion that this can all be gone in a second, yet we persist in our attempt to capture moments that transcend the chaos and achieve a higher field than  just attempting to exist. 

We should strive for morals and ideals better than just the next paycheck. Our decision-making must go beyond the belief that human life is only valuable if we contribute to the bottom line. Our leaders should continually push to ensure that the decision matrix doesn't take for granted all that life has to offer that can't be quantified. Honestly, there is more in our lives that can't be quantified than can. What's the price of seeing my daughter do her I-can't-control-myself happy dance when papa and mama walk in?  What's the value in a 17-year tradition of camping with the same group of guys that is always a logistics quagmire of everyone's life but yet we pull it off even in the COVID-times? What is the cost of those 150,000 and counting lives lost because we only did the math on the economy of life, not the equity of life? 

I have seen sunsets on the Pacific and sunrises on the Atlantic and I desire to see and experience so much more. So did those 150,000 people who have died mostly in sacrifice to save an economy, an economy that exists so people can figure out a way to catch their own sunset and sunrise moments. We have lost something during this Pandemic; we have lost our way of understanding what life is. It is those moments in which the universe aligns and we rise above the chaos and reach heights more magnificent than we thought imaginable, only to turn around and offer our hand to someone else so they too can have that feeling.  My sunset on the Pacific was with three of my best friends and one day I hope to sit with them again on that beach, with our significant others and our kids, and once again touch the rare air of life, capturing one more unreal moment before the sun sets on my time. Just about everyone deserves that and that should be our north star, guiding light during this whole mess.