The Emotional After Party

The Emotional After Party

John Paul Derryberry

I untied my bow-tie and set the microphone down. I had ended my last session at the Super Happy Awesome Expo in Oelwein, Iowa. It could be the end of any set, anywhere in America, of mine. Mentally and emotionally spent, I should have had little to no energy left today. I had completed a full day of talks. We started with quick, high energy 15-minute sessions with 1st and 2nd graders. We ended with one long chat with the parents of this community seven hours later. But I was not done yet; the best part was just getting started.

First, a mom and a relative came up to share about how the emotional connections between siblings could be stronger. Next, a father came up and said, "My kid told me I had to come to hear your talk. Now, I'm going to have to tell him he was right, and he will hold it over me forever." Next, a parent going through a divorce shared he needed to be in a place to laugh about difficult emotions. He stated now a conversation must happen with his kids when he gets home. He shook my hand, makes deliberate eye contact, said a soft thank-you, and walked away.

Early in the day after my last talk with students and school is about to be let out, students stopped and chatted. Two young students came up and stated that they were part of the club, I inquired what club? The depression club and we support each other, and it seems you help a lot of people. My response was, well, I'm jealous I never called it a club. They laughed, I laughed, and we snapped a quick picture. Another student came and said, "I'm making my mom come tonight to hear you, never thought I would laugh at the stuff we talked about today with you." Teachers came into the office I used between the school talk and the emotional outreach with me. Their passion for educating the whole child was infectious.

I say my goodbyes and retreat to my mini-van. It's about a two-hour drive home. I call my wife to chat for the first ten minutes, hear about the girls and her day. She asked how'd I do, and my response was they did great. The student, educators, and parents participated in a day of emotional health. It's never about me, it's about those conversations after. The connection we make. It's about showing the people in my orbit that these are the same conversations I have had in other parts of Iowa, Ohio, Wisconsin, New York, Illinois, Indiana, and Tennessee. We are never truly alone in emotions; somewhere, someone is feeling the same way you are. I'm just the lucky guy building the bridges between all these beautiful people and their stories of survival.

I'm always here for the emotional after party. Being in a place where people who felt alone find a connection is to be in the best place ever. It's the WHY behind my whole process. I attempt to build inclusion, to have fewer people feeling alone, to learn there is life after trauma, and chuckle at some topics our culture has said we can't laugh at. Here's to those who hang out after, you linger long enough to share with me, to everyone who finds the courage to share intimate details of their life with a stranger. My world is a better place because you attend the emotional after party. Let's turn the music up and get more people into that club those two girls just invited me into, it sounds like a lively fun place to be.