The Men of My LIfe

The Men of My Life

John Paul Derryberry

There is this notion of what a man is supposed to be. I don't need to describe it because you have a crystal clear picture of what I'm talking about in your head.  Well, my friends never fit that mold, and that's why I stick with them.  If you would have asked a bunch of my college professors and acquaintances if I were trustworthy to undertake any responsibility, they may have laughed you out of the room.  Most of them would do a double-take if they also knew how many people have placed me in charge of care for others. They would question why I was requested to speak about such topics as depression, suicide, and emotional health. 

But the group of guys I get the privilege to call friends, would loudly, because we are a loud bunch, say he has always been the right man for that job. I wouldn't have believed them in my early twenties, but they saw a side of me I did not know existed. That's what lucking into the right people to have in your life does for you. It provides avenues for ways to grow that weren't open before. It all started with a well-timed joke at my expense 18 years ago.  After I stopped laughing at the joke and myself, I realized I had to be friends with someone that funny. It was just my luck that guy was also thoughtful, honest, and compassionate.  

We became best friends, which led to more friends, which led to a group that somehow texts each other daily. Yes, seven 30-something aged men send daily texts to each other. We discuss sports, politics, religion, fatherhood, comedy, quotes, movies and attempt to top each other with GIFs. I have cried with these guys. I have argued with these men. I have told each of them I love them, and they have returned that love more than I could imagine. 

Because I would not have turned into the man I am today without them, I have a better understanding of what it means to be human, to carry compassion for so many because of them.  I gained wisdom from our conversations and remain humble because, at numerous times in our chats, we all realize how smart, driven, and exceptional the others are. I can trace the husband and father I am directly back to them, shaping me as a person.  These guys blow the stereotypical man out of the water. They are quite simply what men should aspire to be. So, as I begin a week-long celebration with my family, I will be thankful for these men. 

They saw something in me worth their time.  Thankfully, we continue to stay connected. We still, upon first glance, look and act like a bunch of goofballs who should not have responsibility granted to them.  Yet that's the exact reason why so many trusts us to do great things because we embrace life, all of it.  All I know is I wouldn't have the experiences I've had without them. 

It may not be the traditional man thing to do, to acknowledge that some of my success is due to them. But we have never been "the classic men," so why would we start now? So this holiday season, I convey to them that there are not enough words to cover what I owe them. A thank you does not cover it, and they not sitting around waiting for one. I implore all of you to reach out to your friends and remind them of all the good they do for your life.  Now I need to find the perfect GIF to send in the daily text to convey all of this. But I know no GIF in the world can accurately capture that, so I'll probably send the Tommy Boy, Brothers Gotta Hug GIF, and call it close enough. 

Happy Holidays!