The Service Life is the Life For Me
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The Service Life is the Life for Me
John Paul Derryberry
The phone rang. It was a former client, a client I had helped get their life back together. I had advocated for this client to be released back to their family because they, after my stellar interventions, were ready to do real life again. I excitedly asked how the heck they were doing and they replied that they were calling from a drug rehabilitation center. They had phoned to apologize because they had let me down, but little did they know that I had let them down.
Arrogance and overconfidence are funny traits. We need the confidence to be successful in life. Still, if it tips into vanity, we find ourselves in spots we never believed possible. I can't be sure whether Trump said those things about people who sacrificed their lives, limbs, and livelihoods for a more significant cause. But, I can spot someone paying lip service to serving for all the wrong reasons because it's like looking at a younger version of myself. Trump fits that bill by a mile.
Twenty-two-year-old John got into helping others for the wrong reasons. I did it as an arrogant way of saying, I know better. You would be surprised how many service journeys start this way. The sacrifice to join the military is riskier than I have ever made, than most have ever made. Comparing what I did, entering social service, is not the same. However, there are similarities.
It's challenging: the grit and resiliency required to fail over and over again. This realization slowly meets arrogance in social work if you are here because you think you know better than others. The world will teach you it doesn't care how highly you regard yourself. That was the lesson for me in that phone call I received 15 years ago. The question was, did I push for that client's release to their family because it reinforced how great of a helper I though I was? The gut-punching answer was yes, I did. When I re-examined the case notes, I saw that I had glossed over important behaviors showing someone not ready for the real world's challenges.
Becoming unselfish is possible but remaining confident is demanded of anyone trying to find success in the world of service. You must trust your knowledge but always seek out more. Some train to possibly die so that the mission can be successful. Gaining experience with trauma is vital so, when a kid sucker punches you, you know it's not you that they are hitting. It's everyone who came before you. It is realizing that the greater good may occur without you. It is coming to understand that the person you once viewed as less than you is your equal.
The life of service stands as the most fabulous view of the souls of others. It reveals understanding of the human experience. It is the gift of giving a little of yourself to a cause or another human being worthy. It is not the venue of suckers and losers. It's the best of humanity. It's stripping away the worst of us and replacing it with the best. First, you have to understand the point of service. It's not to get anything in return but to gain the energy to shed the worst of yourself. Only then do you begin to see the intention of a life of service, an exchange between two humans. They make you better; you make them better. You both leave closer to equals and you both have been made more whole. Only a real loser wouldn't understand that exchange.