America's Not Crazy, But It's a Little Unwell

America’s Not Crazy, But It’s a Little Unwell

John Paul Derryberry

The music from our formative years tends to sink a little deeper into our souls than other music. It's why Matchbox 20 makes any ten favorite band lists I create even though I know there are many, many bands better suited to be on a top ten list. In the same vein, America should make every list for the top ten countries to call home but, for the first time in my life, that might not be true.

And that's where Matchbox 20 came roaring back into my life this week. One line from one of their lesser hits kind of sums up where we are as a country. The U.S. postal service, one of the best services our government funds and which, in my 38 years, has never been embroiled in controversy, is leading the nightly news. COVID-19 continues to run amok in numerous communities as now it seems there are 213 types of masks you shouldn't or should wear at a time. A hurricane hits the midwest and the governor decides, I'll take a week to even show interest in helping. Our educational system is stuck between a rock and a hard place on how to proceed with the upcoming school year. Racism, which will never be solved entirely but has shown itself to still have deep roots in our society, is having a reckoning moment. 

Matchbox 20 wrote, "But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell." I always felt that summed up my spot in life from 16 to 22. Struggling with depression from grief due to the loss of my father and best friend, I never felt crazy but I always felt unwell. That line also seems to fit America right now. We're not as crazy as the Republicans, Democrats, and the media make us out to be in this moment, but we are unwell.  We are overdue on improvements to ensure that the idea of this country always is to move towards a more perfect union. 

This is what happens when you are unwell. You can't withstand even the slightest stiff breeze without falling apart. You think you are in crazy times because it seems so chaotic. How many times have we muttered, 2020 can't get any worse, only for reality to say, hold my beer? One freaking hurricane leveled 1/4th of Iowa. There is no rule in life that says it has to improve for the sake of improving. I would have sworn up and down at 14 that my dad dying would be the worse thing ever, then I was one of the last people to talk to my best friend, Eric, before he passed away at 17. And I'm positive that something could occur in the future to rearrange my rankings of crappiest thing to happen to me.

So it appears America is having a crazy year, but we are just unwell. Most of us knew there were underlying issues this whole time. The rise of the birther movement when Obama ran was racism. The light sentencing of a white Stanford student, in a high profile rape case, was disproportionate to the crime. The high bar Hillary had to clear to be worthy of the presidency, while so many excuse Trump's unworthiness, is a double standard. There is a laundry list of studies providing the data that reveals the root cause of The USA sickness. The best one being our constant refusal to fund public education at the level it needs.

We can go the easy route and blame the right, if you're on the left. We can blame the left, if you're on the right. Go ahead, blame the media if you would like, or the new devil for so many, social media. Place the blame on people leaving the faith in droves or place the blame on people misusing the teachings of Jesus to condemn others. Do any of that and we will remain unwell. Healing requires reflection, admitting that you are adding to the problem, and changing course. Healing requires realizations around living and breathing the notion, "what if I'm wrong." This has to be at the center of our actions. Yet it is something many of us are failing to do in the current climate of I need to be right, no matter what. 

I don't have a cure for what ails us as a society. I don't know why it all happened to blow up in 2020, although I do have my theories and ideas. But what I do know is that saying, "it's all crazy" makes it seem like something we can't deal with. And that, my readers, is wrong. We are just unwell and anything that is unwell can be made well.  As Matchbox 20 put it, "just stay a while and you'll see a different side of me." We are seeing a different side of America slowly emerging from this mess. I hope it will be a better version than the one before.