5 A.M. We meet again!

5 A.M. We Meet Again!

John Paul Derryberry

We can only escape the inevitable for so long. The 5 a.m. workouts and runs were a thing of the past. Having a newborn in the house for roughly a year straight meant 5 a.m. was for feedings, bonding, and blur-eyed coffee making in the dark. All the thoughts I had in those moments were to move quickly enough to quiet our crying child so she would not to wake my wife, my dog, and our other child. After the bottle touched her lips, my only thought was when I can, I will never get up again at 5 a.m. 

With milestones hit by our girls, they began to sleep in little by little, and now we make to the middle of the morning, 6 a.m., before one of them stirs. The 5 a.m. wake-up calls were over for me and I couldn't have been happier. It turns out humans function better with sleep, making coffee a lot easier in the morning with some light. I haven't had to clean up my coffee mess while the girls help make coffee; that's a different story. 

Yet I stepped on the scale in March and did not like the number starring back at me. In all honesty, who really ever likes the number staring back at them. I did the math about working out again and not cheating my wife out of having help with the girls before I head to work and not cheating the girls out of dad time in the morning. There it was in the taunting and cackle of a laugh mocking me: 5 A.M.!!!!!! I would have to get up again at 5 a.m. to fit a run in and be home in time to help with the girls. 

I contorted my body in all sorts of directions hoping the number would change. But math is math, and if I wanted to get back into shape I would have to run a half marathon or a full marathon again.  And, 5 a.m. was the time Monday through Friday that I would have to run. This is what we have to do as responsibilities change. Become a father and your wants and desires have to move further down the priority list. Life evolves. Self-care is essential, and the question becomes, how do you do that with everything else on your plate. For me, the horrible, honest answer is a little less sleep and hit the pavement by 5:15. 

So, I have a four-day-a-week meeting with 5 a.m. I allow myself to sleep in on Thursday. Six a.m. has never felt so late in the morning. I gutted my way through March;  by April, rising early was normal; and now, in July, I love the stillness of my quiet house at 5 a.m. I love the quiet time before the girls are awake, and daddy is a jungle gym. I love the run more now than when I did it before. It provides just enough separation from my family for clarity of all the roles I play. It reminds me that, at 38 years young, life has been about adding up a ton of small victories to experience the life I enjoy now. It shows me how right my parents were that sacrificing a little now means more later. 

So I am sacrificing a little sleep now to enjoy better health later and the feeling of accomplishment I have when I cross the finish line. I indulge in the minor triumph of actually setting the alarm for 5:01 a.m so I feel my declaration of never getting up again at 5 a.m. is still intact.  The famous greek tragedy of meeting your fate by taking a path to avoid it seems a little all too correct for me these last four months. The best part of all of this is that 5 a.m. and I are like old friends now. So whatever hours you keep, fit in a little You time. I hope you embrace them thoroughly. We all need it, now more than ever.