Dance Little Ladies, Dance
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Dance Little Ladies, Dance
John Paul Derryberry
Two years ago, Anne and I sat in the U of Iowa Hospital, awaiting another trip down the invitro lane. We were zero for life in our attempts to start a family. The efforts we took were many in variety and avenues. All of it before that fateful July 5th ended with heartbreak, confusion, and no real answer as to why we couldn't become parents. But on that July 5th, 2018, we embarked on a life-changing run many have not been on.
Greta, our second child, was implanted into Anne, and the process worked. We welcomed Greta into our lives roughly 9 months later. Amelia, our first child, was born a day later on July 6th, 2018 in the same hospital through adoption. It was a wild way to start a family, but technically we have had both girls the same amount of time. Well, really technically, we received Greta a day earlier, but I'm not wasting my time splitting hairs here. Tomorrow we will celebrate Amelia's second birthday, and today is the day we started our family journey. We went from zero to two kids faster than most cars go from zero to 60. I wouldn't have it any other way.
So before we light the birthday candles and tear into the gifts, I want to take a moment and tell my two tiny little girls something. I have a feeling it will be a yearly blog from now on. The blog closest to July 5th will be some lesson dad wants to impart to his girls and, in that retrospect, to his readers about life. The monotonous life lessons from my dad are what I missed most for a long time after he died when I was 14. Those lessons paid off big time later on in life.
Dear Amelia and Greta,
Girls, thank you for making me a father in a very unique way. We came into each other's lives in a grand, high-drama storytelling fashion. And for your old man, who loves a good story, it makes me smile every day thinking about the journey to get to you. Last weekend as we listened to Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats, we went from singing along to dancing. Dancing with dad led you to smile and laugh. Watching you two giggle, while I twirled you and two-stepped around the dining table, reminded me of the first life tip I want to pass along to you. It comes from Grandma Derryberry herself.
Dance! Life is too short not to move to some good tunes by yourself, with friends, someone you love, and on rare occasions, a complete stranger. Not a soul on this planet has never uttered the following sentence, I regret dancing last night, it was boring and really didn't improve my night. Do the hokey-pokey, line dance, slow dance, drop it like it's hot, waltz, swing, or whatever is popular when you are older and are making fun of my elbow dance. By the way, it's my elbow dance you'll miss the most when I'm no longer around. But for the love of our short time together, groove to the music.
And if you dare to fall in love, do it with someone willing to look like a fool on a dance floor right next to you. I honestly don't care if you fall in love with a man or a woman. You figure that part out. But if you come home with a significant other who won't even slow dance with you, your father will roll his eyes so hard at this person. Life is emotional and frequently heartbreaking. Dancing in the middle of it all it heals heartbreak, pushes the next lousy moment further down the road, and provides a mini protest in all the chaos. It says, right here at this moment, I choose to be free and find happiness, connection, and peace. Please spin, twirl, dip, twist, mash-potato, tootsie roll, tango, or my famous elbow dance your mom pokes fun of me for. Dance has put a smile on my face, or someone else's, every time I've done it. You'll need that skill in life.
Sincerely
Your father, the guy I hope you never grow old of swaying with to the music every now and then!