SNWJ: For The Times They Are Always A Changing.
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For The Times They are Always a- Changin
John Paul Derryberry
I work in the business of helping people change. Whether I'm speaking, or doing social work, I spend my life nudging people into a new way of thinking. So you would think I could make life adjustments on the fly, yet I struggle with change just like everyone else. I see people every day twisting their thoughts, bodies, and feelings into pretzels, trying not to change. I sit there and think, you know that all the denying and mental gymnastics won't change the fact, but things have changed. I know all the tricks to convince people it's a good idea to try a new behavior pattern. And, if anyone dares uses one of those tactics on me, I flip out. I make for a terrible person to provide advice to. I'm internally judging everything you do as wrong, even if it is the absolute perfect intervention.
Almost no one willingly engages in change. We all drag our feet kicking and screaming. Something about the status quo rocks us to sleep, and something about the unknown scares us. Even those annoying people who brag about how they change their life all the time, drag their feet when it come to life being unpredictable. There is something inherently human about being stubborn about embracing change. It's why when new ideas and suggestions come along, 95 percent of us turn into 85-year-old men screaming, get off my lawn, when the new fancy diet, technology or whatever new-fangled thing is being pushed on us.
It's why, biologically, change takes place slowly over time. Imagine going from a pre-pubescent boy to a full-high testosterone male in one night. Men would self-combust without that energy running through their veins. It's why there is gestation period for birth-parents to prepare for their entire world to change. Want to watch your stress level go from zero to hundred in six seconds flat? Walk into any business meeting in any field and drop the news that the entire process is going to change. You can physically witness everyone mentally updating their resumes or figuring out how to pass the modified work scheme to some other employee.
So what are we humans, who cower in the face of change, to do?
We find the courage that lies deep inside of all of us. We admit we are struggling, we recognize we are vulnerable, and we close our eyes and envision a better life for ourselves after we have processed the change that has occurred. We understand that there is no timetable for adjusting to life changes. We just have to slowly and persistently march toward evolving to match our new life.
Next, we embrace the change. We lean into it, we look for ways we are better humans because of what this change has given us. Maybe you are more focused, are more sympathetic and/or compassionate, perhaps wiser or stronger. We actively look for ways to improve our situation. We become so engrossed in the idea that things will change. We develop our selves to handle lives changes through laughter, tears. We exercise, we laugh, we converse, we pray, we meditate, we find a support system which holds us up when the change is life-altering or life-shattering. We talk, we work through, we do the work to feel comfortable with what has changed. We accept some things that change are out of our control, And lastly, we realize we have been evolving since the day we were born, so we have the skills necessary to navigate this process. Because whether we like it or not, since the beginning of time, times, they are a-changing. Bob Dylan got that right. We just have to get better at changing with them.