Most of This is Because of You
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Most of This is Because of You
John Paul Derryberry
Some of you know my strong suits and weak spots, with the glaring soft spot being my inability to spell. So imagine my surprise when I found out that this coming Thursday, the 28th, I will be awarded the Distinguished Alumni of the Year award from my undergrad university, Grand View. It took me five attempts to spell distinguished correctly in the last sentence and three shots this time, even though I just spelled it. Yet, I will attend a dinner to speak with a couple of professors who helped bring my life into focus; hang with friends who helped me become a better person; and thank Grand View for being a space where I figured some stuff out.
I would love to say I'm humbled by this, but again, if you know me, you know I have always had confidence. I have never understood the notion that confident people should be something other than sure. But that doesn't mean I can't express what this means. I am honored that I have been found worthy. I teared up quite a few times thinking about how my friends, family, educators, past supervisors, co-workers, and the clients I served felt I needed recognition for my work. It's incredible to have proof that you are having the type of impact you want to have on others and the communities you have worked in.
There was never a guarantee I would have worked through all my shortcomings and personal demons to be considered distinguished. I'm brash and often clash with authority. I can be uncompromising on issues and dismissive at times. I'm also passionate, deeply compassionate, thoughtful, and considerate. The question is: how did one side grow and the other side shrink? And that's a big question for me and many others in society to figure out. Before I take a moment to answer that inquiry: a big mistake many successful people make is never considering how they beat the odds and grew the best parts of themselves, while shrinking the less-than-stellar ones. They often talk as if success was written in the stars. It is not, and there is a version of me that will never make it to this award banquet. I want to respect that notion; it's the most crucial notion I carry. There is a version of John that is not good for his community, and remembering that helps to ensure that version never finds its way back into my thinking.
So why am I here and excited about Thursday- well, the simple answer is because of a lot of you. Whether it was those professors and friends in college, who saw traits of my personality that I did not see in myself and helped them grow. Or audience members and readers, who shared their stories with me, after I shared mine, and gave me confirmation that storytelling worked better than PowerPoint. Or supervisors, who guided my passion instead of fighting it, Or co-workers, who bought into the idea we can do better for our clients. Or my wife, who constantly reinforced that I could do social work the way I wanted, if I kept advocating, growing, and pushing. Or the clients, my greatest teachers about resiliency, belonging, compassion, and the notion that laughter and fun have to be a part of life.
Time and time again, people have reinforced my mission, my personality, or my view of the world by simply being in my orbit. Is that luck or skill or a whole lot of both? My guess is figuring out that answer is a complex math equation with too many variables to solve. It's been fantastic working with so many staff to better the communities I call home and with clients who, like me, just want to better themselves. I don't look in the mirror and see distinguished. I see a lot of unfinished work in my home community and myself. Yet one of the few truths I know is that I would not have Thursday night without you and your impact on how I interact with the world. I thank you for that, thank you for allowing me to tell my stories, to work alongside you, to grow under your leadership, to consider you a friend, and most of all, thank you for helping this version of John grow. Apparently, it's the distinguished model.