Two Different Moments- Same Heart

Two Different Moments- Same Heart

John Derryberry

Often, life doesn't reveal itself until we truly go through a heartbreak. It's when we experience a fixed moment, where all the money, action, praying, social status or our parents, can't swoop in and save us. Or, whatever power we wield cannot change the outcome that we are tested. At that moment, we are set on a journey to discover our resiliency. Do we have what it takes to adapt, overcome, evolve, and grow?

The next quandary in the process is, where do you find evidence that you have moved through the heartbreak and truly healed? It's not an easy process because we all know we bring heartbreak forward into our next relationship, professional career, or life chapter. And for me, healing means loving life, people, and experiences again, knowing full well you will drink from the heartbreak well again. It's impossible to avoid it, even though we try.

Living life to the fullest and experiencing the joy of true love means putting ourselves in positions to experience absolute failure, embarrassing failure. It means placing our emotions in the hands of others and hoping the good times outweigh the bad times 10 to 1. It means knowing at some point, when the goodbyes occur, you will be gutted but forge ahead anyway.

That's where I was this past Thursday, crying through my speech to the people who made me engage in that process again. I would be gutted by their losses, yet I plan to spend as much time with them as our busy life allows. It's a healthy thing to throw ourselves into life. The trick is to not let the heartbreak stop you. It's where all the best stuff happens: laughing till you cry, watching the sunrise when you swear the sun has just set,  having a conversation without saying a word at all, and having so many memories they begin to blur together.

I have that again, and I have it in spades. Suppose the first trophy, in the picture on top of this blog, represents the day I told myself I wouldn't get my heart broken again. In that case, the second trophy from my alumni weekend is a sign that I want as much heartbreak as possible. It will mean I never stopped caring, throwing myself into life, and connecting with people who make life worth living. I'm living fully engaged, heart open, and looking to be gutted again. It will hurt when it happens, but it will hurt because the way I lived meant a great deal to me and many others.