Sunday Night With John: Ditch the Steps, Grab A Story

“I’m not here today to tell you the steps to take to become a better person. I hate those types of speakers. I’m here today to tell you a story, a story that will connect us, a story where you will see a little of yourself, and a story that will inspire you to write a new chapter in your own story.”

This is a line I say within ten minutes of every presentation, talk, or keynote I give. There is a reason I describe myself as a storyteller with a meaning behind every one.

Do you want to give someone false hope? Forward to one of those barely researched, unproven internet articles that have seven steps to overcoming grief, six steps to a new you, and, my personal favorite, five steps to reach your goals. Steps are nice. They are neat. And, once in a blue moon, they do work to provide a framework for achieving a dream, overcoming an obstacle, and discovering the new you. But, much like when we make New Year’s resolutions, we reset the steps often, change to a new set of steps almost religiously, and fail to achieve the change or new life we were hoping for.

Life is messy, change is hard, and achieving dreams is never a straight line of steps to the top.  How do I know this?  Because, my own life has been messy, with twist and turns I did not expect. I've had great peaks of achievement that released exuberant emotions and made me feel that nothing could stop me.  I’ve had deep valleys of disappointment that released a swell of emotional doubt and made me question what I was striving to accomplish.

It’s not just my life that shows the power of stories. We are drawn to stories in books, television and movies. We are moved by movies made into true stories for inspiration. We see pieces of ourselves in Harry Potter, in Robin Hood, in Romeo and Juliet, and in countless other real and fictional people who have inspired us to be better. I remember watching "Rudy" and tearing up at his won’t-give-up attitude. I remember watching "42" and Jackie Robinson reminding us what it means to be brave. I remember watching the "Sound of Music" and realizing the hard choices people have had to make. The peaks and valleys of the stories give the won’t-give-up attitude, the bravery, and the hard choices depth and meaning. Something that just following steps will never do.

I get it. Steps are easy, and, oh boy, do we love for things to be easy! But, if something is easy, it lacks meaning and impact. "Six steps to a better life" leaves out all the good stuff: the journey, the emotions, the ups and downs, and, the reason why. Most importantly it leaves out the moment when you were going to give up, but you didn’t.  When we do not have to struggle for a better life, it will not stick with us. If you are interested in making a change or chasing a dream, do yourself a favor--ditch the steps. Find yourself a story, or a storyteller that will not give you the steps to take, because no one success is ever the same. Find a story and a storyteller that will carry you through your ups and downs, will give you inspiration when life gets messy, and will remind you that the journey is worth it.