Hey! Judgy McJudgerson

Hey! Judgy McJudgerson 

John Paul Derryberry 

Dear Judgy McJudgerson,

I see you and I hear your comments. You look at a homeless person and you spill your biased, never once talked with a homeless person opinions. I watch you cross the street to avoid them and double lock your doors when you drive by them. I see you judge a homeless parent even harsher by saying things like, “how dare they put a kid in that situation”, or “that would never be me”. I see you judge an addict who can’t give up their habit while you down your 8th diet coke of the day. What’s your blood pressure are again? Little do you know they are attempting to dull the pain of their sexual abuse.

What you fail to understand is the story behind it all. There is always a story and it’s never pretty. The reasons they ended up in the situation would break about everyone. Your judgement keeps them one step beneath human, all for you to feel superior, like you have done life perfectly. I want you just for a second put yourself mentally where someone from the at-risk population has been. Close your eyes and think about the person who you have romantically loved the most in your life. They convinced you everything was going to work out and showed you a life you could not imagine. They made you feel safe. Now imagine your children and their innocence was shattered because this person began beating you. Your child sees your bruised and bloodied face. They look on and you know everything has changed in that minute. We have all dated someone who changed drastically in an instant. We finally saw their uncontrolled demons. Some of us are lucky we find out early. Some of us do not find out until years into it.

You now face a choice.

The world tells you, be strong and leave your partner. Don’t stand for domestic abuse or you will be judged as weak minded. How can you raise your child around violence? How can you believe they love you when they pulled a gun on you and threatened to kill you? You are too scared to ask for help. Scared to provoke another attack, and scared of the world’s judgement.  You find the courage to plan in secret. You find a window of opportunity to run because you won’t be a victim of domestic abuse. You demonstrate courage in its purest form, then you realize no one will take you in. Now you are homeless and the world judges you for being a parent who allowed their family to become homeless. Courage now turns to shame with every side eye judging look.

Or…

You do all the reasoning in your head about leaving and you realize you do not have enough money to pull it off, because to avoid their rath you have to move at least five to six states away. You don’t know where to turn so instead of becoming homeless, you decide food, shelter, and clothes is worth the bruises. You will make sure your kids never are victims of it, and you will do your best to walk on eggshells to not provoke another attack. Your a prisoner but no one can say you do not have the ability to provide for your children and they can’t judge you by saying you take handouts.

This could be just one situation out of millions facing numerous people in our communities. Either choice lands them judged and deemed less than human by passers by. A no win situation that gets you thrown out as trash, dismissed, and forgotten. That judgement eats away at a person’s self worth, slowly shattering it, until they accept their fate. A victim of domestic abuse forever, or a poor homeless parent. That’s what you do to people every time you don’t learn the story Mr. and Mrs Mcjudgerson. You threw gasoline on the fire of people’s souls because you think you have them figured out in one look.

You fail to see the bravery in their actions. You fail to see the line between them and you is thin. You fail to realize you are the one who should be judged unworthy. You have the freedom to help and you do nothing. You have the security and safety to be involved and stand on the side lines. You have the ability to lessen their burden and you choose to weigh it down. You are what’s wrong with society, not them.

Sincerely,

John Paul Derryberry