Judgement Removal

Judgement Removal

John Paul Derryberry

When I started in the helping field, I wondered why so many seemed to ignore the issues that led to the need for the helping field in the first place.  It seemed callous, cold, and disheartening at its best, yet after 20-plus years in the field. I have a vastly different view of the situation, one that differs widely from my first conclusion, all those years ago. I’m a lot older, a little wiser, and more passionate about this work than ever. It was that passion that led me down the road of questions, my first conclusion.

See, in my experience, most people just move through life with their first judgment. Finding evidence becomes an exercise in accepting evidence that cements your first conclusion and dismissing anything that runs contrary to it. Rather than pursuing the real reasons things occur, we become someone who manipulates the process to keep our view intact. It’s a dangerous place to find oneself, especially in the siloed echo chambers of social media algorithms. Everyone who agrees with us is a friend, and everyone who disagrees is an enemy. I just can’t fathom going through life with that type of narrow thought processing.

So what changed my viewpoint and directed my passion toward understanding the system and even potentially improving it? Conversations with people from differing viewpoints, backgrounds, economic status, voting tendencies, and folks who have had lots of interactions within the social service, to folks who have had little. What has been undeniable in 99% of these conversations is the desire to help those in need.  They are not cold, heartless, and callous. They lack an understanding of why these social issues occur, but most of us do, even those in the field. Even me. They are misguided on solutions that change the course of the folks we help, most of us are, even those in the field. Even me. That’s a hard thing to admit. We would rather throw others under the bus, demonize certain folks, and portray ourselves as holier-than-thou.

None of us are perfect, and we would all be better if we began acting that way more often. Plus, the solutions that I have come up with to make my work better and more impactful have come from so many folks. Being open to all the conversations led me somewhere I didn't expect: a place where I let a lot more people at the table than I did twenty years ago. More people understand the need better, and I understand their misgivings better, their passion, their desire to help, and even their desire to dismiss the people I help. All the information matters because all the people in our communities matter. We would be better off if we let go of our first judgments. Move out of our silos and find our way to being curious about life again. It would lead to a better society and community. One with less judgment and more conversations, and conversations build connection. Connection leads to the type of recovery we all want in our communities.