It's Only Good Advice When It Fits Your Life
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It’s Only Good Advice When It Fits Your Life
John Paul Derryberry
It is always portrayed as sound advice: the notion that one has to sacrifice and work extra hard to get ahead in life. Be the one who doesn't take vacations, misses life events of friends and family, and you too can find yourself basking in your success. Sometimes the advice comes off as condescending, as it's spoken as some secret knowledge, even though we are all aware that hard work most of the time leads to good outcomes. It also implies the person handing out the advice thinks they work harder than others because they don't know the life circumstances of the people receiving this advice. I know for a fact I know some folks who have worked a lot harder in life than I have, but I have more. Sometimes life works that way.
This isn't an essay about bemoaning the advice of hard work either. It's good advice. I, once for five years, had a second job to make ends meet. My life circumstance and chosen career meant that, in order to make ends meet, I had to work hard. Two jobs was the way to go. This is about how, no matter the choices you make, there isn't a world where you can have it all. Advising people that you can is sending them in search of something they can never find. Working two jobs to make ends meet until you reach a level where you don't have to, means you miss nights out with friends. Taking a better paying job in a field you don't like, means possibly not enjoying your professional career but maybe enjoying how your bank account looks a heck of a lot.
It really is about making choices about the life you want to lead and what is important for you to achieve. Taking a remote job means you may not feel like you have a home as you travel in your van, which sounds awful to me, but great to others. A big house sounds like lots of chores and care-taking. I once had a job I loved, but the commute was 45 minutes and as I did the job I realized the time in the car wasn't worth the price. I had choices to make about the pros and cons of what was occurring with my family, my professional life, and how I wanted to spend my time. Turns out no dream job for me is worth a total of a 90 minute daily commute. I like my time, I'll sacrifice for it. Pay for me is important, but not the biggest factor in determining how I proceed.
What if you work hard and sacrifice to get ahead only to suffer an accident and never get to experience the fruits of all that sacrificing in your younger days. Again- not a rant against working hard and staying focused on advancing your career. That is certainly one path through life, but there are many more paths that are just as healthy. I hope we continue to evolve to allow for many different life paths that produce a healthy lifestyle, each with its own set of pros and cons. No one gets to have it all, but more people should feel like they are getting more than they are, and that starts with advice that isn't, one size fits all. Life is full of beautiful ways to feel satisfied and sometimes it's not at the end of working hard, but at the end of a lazy day reconnecting with people we love. And, a life like that sounds pretty fulfilling too!