Dear, My Conservative Village

Dear, My Conservative Village

John Paul Derryberry

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I believe that notion wholeheartedly. We absorb so many lessons from observing, hearing, and interacting with the people around us, and most of the village that took care of me in my formative years were conservative people. They were traditional, went to church on Sundays, practiced faith every other day, and believed in small government. I have been thinking about the group of people who raised me a lot this week, mostly because I have shed a lot of those ideals through the years.  

I was not cast out by them. I'm not a discarded apple in my family; we all love each other a lot.  If you do not understand the importance of a large group of people championing small government, then you haven't read the history of total government control. There is value in conservatism. There is honor in the notion of rugged individualism. What we are witnessing now is not conservatism, it's hate.  It's everything my village taught me to stand up against. It's why I'm so confused about their reaction to police brutality and the President's behavior. This is why I'm shocked at their inaction at the President of our country's constant threat of violence toward American citizens.  It's why I'm left bewildered at their denial of institutional racism and the double standard they often carry. It was patriotic to protest against the closing of hair salons. Yet, it was disrespectful to protest a police officer having his knee on a suspect's neck for almost nine minutes.

Am I a social justice warrior due to their influence on me as a person? They planted roots in my soul around right from wrong, about second chances, and how important it is to surround yourself with diverse thinkers. Most importantly, they taught me that accountability to yourself and the people you lead is a must for any good person. I remember every Christmas the church I attended would welcome in a group of men who had committed crimes. They would sing with them and break bread with them. Most of these men were African Americans.  Yet, this week many of those same people shared viral Facebook posts saying anyone protesting was not an American citizen. Agreeing with our leaders, that we should round them up and throw them in jail, did not jive well with the lessons they taught me. It made me weep. 

I remember vividly the energy within our faith congregation when the pastor would retell the story of Jesus rioting in a temple, "Not a house of thieves," he yelled. Yet this week, they dismissed the whole notion of Black Lives Matter because of a few knuckleheads looting, even though Jesus flipped over a house of God. I remember learning about famous passages of Moses saying, "Let my people go". Our current president would have marched into Pharaoh's palace and said, "Let just these people go because they agree with me and won't hold me accountable, you can keep the rest." I see some from my village cheering on this type of thinking. I see others condoning it, and I see others sitting silently on the sidelines. The worst are the people who say, "do it like  Martin Luther King Jr. did," and forget to mention that he was hated and shot for the way he did it. There has never been a correct way for the black community to find equal footing in our country. Black Lives Matter, not because all life doesn't matter, but because for so long, Black Lives have mattered less. Until it's equal, BLM! 

My first job was working at a daycare for a lady from my church. I saw how patient she was with the hardest kids. A man from my church took me to card shows and showed me the wonderful world of comic books. He showed me you can carry your childhood passions into adulthood. When we suffered a tragedy with my father's passing, the first people at our doorstep were our conservative village. They brought meals, prayed for peace, and helped us see that life after a tragedy can be beautiful. My mom and dad surrounded me with compassionate, thoughtful, and caring individuals. It scares me to see it disappear when we need it most. 

I have seen enough from the aftermath of the death of George Floyd: the threat to use the military on American citizens and the 75-year-old man in critical condition in Buffalo after a brutal attack from the police.  My job today is to remind my conservative village: these are not the values you showed me when I was young. The only way things get better is to challenge those around us, not to just shout into the void about things getting better.  How do I know that? My conservative village taught me that. 

So while we have gone our separate ways, the foundation you laid is still there. I still have faith. I just place mine in people, which is a great place to put it because it allows me to not dismiss conservatives. I hope they realize they are on the wrong side of history. It's time to turn away from our President, hate, and an ugly flirtation with authoritarianism. It's not who you were. I hope it's not who you have become. If it is, I'll be where you taught me to be, between people trying to hurt others and those who need assistance in protecting themselves.

Sincerely, John Paul Derryberry, a guy forever thankful for what you gave him: Love, compassion, a sense of right and wrong, and a compass always lighting the way.