Sunday Night With John: From Nomad to Iowa City Home

From Nomad to Iowa City Home

John Paul Derryberry

When I was 18, I wandered out of my hometown of Orwell, Ohio, population 1660, give or take ten people. I needed a change of scenery and a fresh start in life. Experiencing tragedies at any age will make you question everything about life. Sometimes the search for those answers forces you to drift away from home. I felt I wouldn't find the solutions I sought in my loveable, small town, so I hit the trail looking for who I was going to be. 

I purposely moved to Iowa City, Iowa, in 2012 to be with my fiancee; I was 30. The years In between tell the story of a young man attempting to heal, to find direction for life, and to find peace. For 12 years, I wandered from towns to cities, from houses to apartments, and to should-have-been-condemned dwellings. I was looking for what I had lost with the deaths I experienced at a young age. I was looking to find home again. Iowa City became more than home, it became the place where I completed my nomadic journey of healing, fully accepted the direction of my life, and more than discovered peace. I embraced a full life. 

I bring this to your attention because I'm (we) are on the move again. We are relocating to my wife's home town. Two babies in under ten months caused my wife and I to again ask ourselves those tricky questions about life: What type of experiences do we want? How do we best navigate this change? And, where should we do all of this? All those questions can be answered in due time. Right now, I just want to revel in this sad feeling, which is a good feeling, of being sad I'm leaving Iowa City, my home.

How did this all happen? This story actually ends with a girl. I figured out what I wanted to do in my professional life. I started on my public speaking career and it was growing.  I forged a great bond with the best bunch of friends a guy could ask for. My free time was spent doing stuff that  recharged my soul. I built a stable life. Other people do it in a different order than I did, but my life went this way.  Part of me was always scared to put down roots because tearing up roots is tough, annoying and heartbreaking work. You cannot fret about losing a home again if you never settled into one. 

And that's where the girl comes in. Anne, my wife, made it impossible not to fall in love with her. And eventually, love for our home in Iowa City overflowed.  The vibe, the energy, the crackling sound of listening to vinyl records on an extended summer night while sipping a craft beer is too good not to love. I, the guy who was always thinking about moving somewhere new, who never wanted to own a house, and never uttered the words, I can't wait to get home, found himself speaking the words: I can't wait to get back to Iowa City. 

After my domestication, I found I loved my long runs through Iowa City's neighborhoods. I loved game day in the fall, even if I never converted to Hawkeye fandom.  The buzz downtown when a speaker or cool band is in town is palpable.  People watching while sitting outside on the ped-mall is grand. Secretly, the best day for people watching is Hall-o-ween. Get to Donelly's early, sit in the big window and watch the young kids parade. The trips to the cross-country fields to run our dog; it's genuinely a peaceful zen temple out there. The Sunday morning walks with the wife and the odd random items we find, after a long Saturday night out by the college kids, give us chuckles. I'll miss the best day ever which is Pride Fest in Iowa City. And the freaking Mill, oh, how I will miss the Mill! Iowa City is home, and it's good to have a home again. 

So I'm sad, but it's a good sad. That's the best situation when it comes to feeling blue; experiencing the type of sadness that reveals we have lived life the correct way. We wrapped our arms around the good times, knowing that one day they would end because everything does. That's what a good home does for you. It provides a place to laugh and cry, to settle ourselves during tough times.  We entertain loved ones and create memories that carry us through the bad times and transitions to new phases of life. For the last seven years, Iowa City has been that place for me. It was the culmination of the journey I started at 18, when I couldn't even have pointed out where Iowa City was on a map.  

Almost 18 years to the day I waved goodbye to my first home, I leave my second. This time, I do not carry doubt about who I am or where I'm headed. It's a blissful feeling to know that whatever 18-year-old John was looking for, he found it. It's great to be at peace with a good-sad, to know that, once again, I occupy a healthy home. So many in our world do not have that luxury. So for now until the day we leave, I'll soak in the Iowa City love as much as I can. After all, it's home, and we all know there is no place like home.