Not Rewarding- At least Not The Way You Think

Not Rewarding, At Least Not The Way You Think

John Paul Derrybery .

I finished college when I was 23 and started working with inner-city youth. Whatever I thought working in the field of social work was going to be went out the window before the end of my first week. That's probably why an innocent, meant to be a quick-passing compliment caused my blood pressure to rise to an unhealthy level. I was shooting free throws at my weekly basketball night, and a guy found out about my profession and stated, “Oh, that must be so rewarding.” I smiled and nodded in an effort to move along. I have always hated this statement and what it implies. It implies that my mere presence in the lives of the people we assist provides some form of reward. As if this job, like other jobs in this arena, from teaching to nursing, or community organizing, is somehow not really work. It’s a calling they will tell you. I never once accepted a call to have someone try to headbutt me into next week, but it’s happened way more than anyone could guess.

Let me tell you, social work, which I love doing, is not rewarding, at least not in the way that statement is intended. Convincing folks with active mental health symptoms to engage in different behaviors is difficult and often leads to failure. Showing the community how folks with disabilities deserve the same life experiences as everyone else is like pushing a 1-ton truck up a steep hill. Interacting in the world of trauma, where most of the trauma work means it spilling over into your life, is exhausting. There is a reason burnout is high, and retirements are short. It’s an emotional and mental drag on you, your family, your friends, and pretty much everyone in your obit. Please point to anything in this paragraph that sounds rewarding. It’s needed, but it’s taxing, and it’s freaking hard. Have you ever had the pleasure of making someone that you know is littered with trauma homeless? I know that feeling and feel like a huge loser whenever I make that choice. 

Before you stop reading and start thinking, this is a plea for higher pay in this field; it’s not. I feel I have been compensated well in my career. I lean toward believing, that being the richest country on our planet means people making under $100,000 should be paid more because we have the assets to do that. We pretend we don’t. I do believe a large investment is needed in this field for the exact reason that statement is made more than it should be.  We think the “reward” part of social work is included in the compensation. It’s not! Not included in social work, not in education, not in nursing. Caring for others while managing the care you put into your life is a tough equation. It’s a tax. Ask how many social workers, educators, and nurses have missed their family functions in the name of a rewarding social work career. It’s so many hours that they lost count the second year into their career. 

Maybe by now, you are trying to figure out what is rewarding in this field that deals with the bending of a society that, by design, keeps people down, narrows access, and makes people feel not included. Well, I get to bend that arc ever so slightly the other way. And that is an amazing accomplishment. Social work, done correctly, lifts people up, expands access, and provides inclusion. That’s the rewarding part, but it’s also like trying to nail a triple axle in the Olympics with one ice skating lesson. Witnessing true resilience is rewarding as folks repeatedly try to connect to society, their family, and other humans. Despite society telling them they don't belong, they have to figure out where they belong.

It's weird that, in such an advanced society, we need social workers. It's even odder that we have created this bubble around it, pretending it's rewarding when it’s not. It’s by far the most difficult thing to do, trying to convince another human, who doesn’t have to listen to you, to change their behavior patterns. We fail at that task every day with people we love. Yet we call it rewarding to do so daily with people who are not as attached to us as much as we like to think they are. It’s not a reward I would wish upon other people. We do it to keep us from having the real conversation about why it’s underfunded and understaffed. We say it’s a calling and so rewarding instead of doing a truthful assessment of how society operates and creates such a need. 

I will always smile and nod when that statement is sent my way. It’s a nice gesture, and people mean well by it. It’s just nowhere near the full picture of why I do what I do. It’s never been about any reward. It's about a job that needs to be done and done well because so many of these folks I have worked with have been undone by the people, environment, and circumstances that came before me. Undoing that isn’t rewarding; it should happen in every society and every corner of our culture. Do you want to talk about a reward? Let’s discuss a day when we won’t need people like me. The day I can hang up my social work hat because I’m not needed would be the ultimate reward. I feel like I will more likely hand my hat off to the next person and feel that my watch has ended. When that day comes, I will examine my time as a social worker and hope I permanently bent the arc of society to a more compassionate place.