Sunday Night John: Tom Henson, The man

The 17 year-old version of me hated “Coach T” (Tom Henson). I wanted to be as far away from as possible as he and I did not get along inside the lines of a basketball court.  On one occasion things got heated enough between us that I quit at the halftime of a high school basketball game. We had a battle of wills for three years filled with yelling, eye rolls, tears, forgiveness and promises to do better from both of us. It just never stuck; we were never able to get on the same page on the court.  I was a better player away from him, but I would have never become the man I am without his guidance.

Tom Henson was more then a coach to Orwell, Ohio; he was more than that to me as well. Over the years the rawness of life dwindles and the real picture comes into place. I wasn’t much of an athlete in the 2nd grade, or ever. I had no ability to use my left hand. Coach T ran a clinic on Saturday Mornings for elementary kids and one morning I got it my head I was going to learn how to shoot a left handed lay-up. Coach T kept the gym open an extra half-hour till I did it correctly.  He ran a weeklong basketball camp to start every summer, and after I aged out, he asked me to coach at it for a couple of years.

Coach T was one of the first people at my house the day my dad died. He told me if I needed anything to let him know. He was true to his word, I would often ask Coach T to open up the gym before school or on Saturdays so I could get go through dribble drills and get shots up.  He never said no. A couple of friends joked about how I was brown nosing Coach T for playing time. He gave me the chance to take an un-athletic body and become good enough to keep my promise to my father of playing college basketball. He found basketball camps for me and helped me fill out applications for prestigious camps with better coaches.  I may have never played my best under Coach T,  a realization confuses me now as we have so many compatible traits. That never stopped him from providing me with many opportunities to help me move forward with life. He never gave up on figuring out how to get on the same page with a angry 17 year old. 

I do need to share one interaction between coach T and myself.  It embodies him to the so-called “T.”  I was a 23-year-old college graduate and had just finished my book, Defending a Ghost.  I needed to meet with everyone in my story to get permission to use him or her in my book and my public speaking message. I was scared, nervous, and anxious to hopefully clear the air with him. We had our differences but I know how much Coach T did for me throughout the years. Years after our tumultuous time together we had to figure out where we stood with each other and it was tough. Coach T was hurt by some of what I had written about him and I understood why.  I explained to him how I was a confused angry teenager and I struggled to understand his guidance.  I explained how I was going to try to help other teenagers not do what I did. He listened and signed the papers to let me include him in my story.  As always Coach T did whatever it took to help his kids move forward. He relentlessly stayed committed to my future and opened another door for me.

Our coach-athlete relationships is only a small piece of our relationship that started years ago in when I was in second grade attempting to learn to us my left hand.  At 32 years old as I train for a marathon, I often get up at 5am to get my run in and while it’s not fun, I learned from Coach T that you do what you have to do to get the work in.

When I started out as a public speaker, I heard “no” a lot. I often though about how Coach T’s stubborn streak of showing up to open gym even every day no matter what.  He was there on nice days, rainy days and even blizzard days. The man wouldn’t accept no, he just buckled down and worked harder. It was from Coach T where I learned stubbornness is a skill that when put to good use can you take places. Coach T taught me how to show up day in and day out.  He gave me the commitment to be passionate about my goals, the ability to be loyal to my community, and the drive to work hard. 

I have now carved out an audience as a public speaker and blogger.  With an audience I feel the responsibility to put forth examples of people the world needs more of.  If every school system and community had a man like Tom Henson, the world would be a better place. The man I have become wants my readers to find the Tom Henson in your community and thank him or her.  They are the people who you rely on.  They are the people who are always there, always putting in the work without the need for accolades.  They do what they do because they know it’s right and they know it is benefiting their community, in my hometown we call that hensonstrong.