Sunday Night With John: This is a Laughing Matter

            I’m often asked why I use humor in all of my presentations. The theory goes if we are talking about deep felt emotions there must be no room for laughter. I find it odd that we only feel that deeply experienced emotions are ones that hurt. I have found my self-present in numerous deeply felt moments of excitement and happiness that I find it’s a must to seek out those experiences that make us laugh.

            Often laughter in those difficult moments is what allows us to breath a little easier, and lean away from the pain just enough to brace for the next heartache. Even if it’s just a blink of an eye long it allows us to for to realize we won’t be sad forever.  I did a talk in Marion Iowa for a Suicide Surviors Conference. I spent a lot of time thinking about leaving my jokes at home for this talk. These people are dealing with a special kind of grief.  They are mourning the loss of the loved one and dealing with the question of what could they have done differently to avoid their loved one taking their own life.

            I ultimately decided to leave the jokes in and dial back the some of the stories. My first joke landed flat, I took a big deep breath and said you guys know it’s okay to laugh today. My second joke landed a couple of laughs, and then it began to grow. As my talk unfolded everyone laughed which turned into almost everything sharing a little part of his or her story with each other.

            While I was hanging out after the talk, an older lady dealing with the suicide of her son came up and said thank you. I responded I’m glad you enjoy the talk.

She stated it was good that you didn’t handle us with care, and decided to make us laugh while discussing a difficult topic. She said it eased the pain, and made her able to open not only her ears to listen but also her heart to feel the story I was sharing. 

            Another Mom and daughter came up and shared a story about their loved one lost that made me laugh. They said it was great to finally think of the good their brother/son did with his life instead of just the ending to his life.

            Laughter puts us at ease, it allows different chemicals in our brains to flow, and lowers the stress on our biological system. So to finally answer the question of why I use humor to change lives, it’s because laughter creates an environment where people want to change, and calms the nerves enough to allows us to begin the process of change.

            Parts of our lives will always be a laughing matter.