Sunday Night With John: A Little Trick My Dad Taught Me!

I remember the following life lesson in all its glory; let me paint the picture for you.   I was playing downstairs in the basement getting ready for the wonderful summer life a kid gets to have after finishing the 3rd grade.  Our family room was in the basement; it had a wood burning stove and my dad’s desk on one side and the furniture with the TV on the other side. I had my Lego’s out when my dad entered the room and sat down in his chair. He had my report card in his hands and asked me to stop playing with my Lego’s. I knew what was coming. I had a bunch of spelling assignments to turn in before the school year ended to make sure I got the grade of a B in spelling.  I never got around to turning those missing and late assignments in so I knew I was getting a C+ in spelling.

My Dad first stated that I did great in all my classes besides spelling. He also said he was proud of all my A’s and B’s, but he couldn’t figure out why I had got a C+ in spelling. I said I don’t know because I turned in all those assignments to my teacher. I knew this was a lie but I was trying to get out of being grounded. My Dad, who at times was lazy, never really allowed us to be lazy around our studies.  My dad replied with, “oh it must be a teacher error then.” He instructed me to go get the phone book. I asked why? He stated I would just look up your teacher’s number and asks what happened. I said that he couldn’t call teachers during the summer, that’s their off time. He replied if my son turned in his work and should have a B for a grade, I most definitely could call any teacher during the summer. I knew I was caught. I looked at my dad and said Dad I lied I didn’t turn that stuff in, the grade is correct. My Dad said, I know.  He then told me that if you would have just been honest about not turning the stuff in, we could have had a conversation and made improvements for next year. I could have helped you figure out how to get more organized. Instead, you lied and now I can’t trust you. You are grounded for two weeks for lying to your parents. I spent the next two weeks asking to do things and my dad replying, “Nope, I can’t trust you.” We spent every night chatting about how you’re being true to what you say might be the most important part to every relationship.

As I begin to finalize my vows that I will recite to Anne in less than a week, my Dad’s lesson of trust and honesty being so important to healthy relationships will be at the heart of my vows. The words that I choose will describe the actions I will take over the years to make sure Anne and I have wonderful life together.  The two-week grounding when I was in third grading was worth it, because now, on one of the most important days of my life I know to lead with honesty and understand to act in a manner that builds trust with the person I love.