Sunday Night With John: Compassion Takes Nurses, Teachers, Caregivers, and Talent

Have you ever cleaned up someone’s vomit that you are not related to five minutes after they have threatened to kill you? Have you ever had to wipe someone’s butt who is not related to you? Have you ever had to wonder what they heck happened to a kid the night before when they can barely stay awake in class? Or have you ever had to console someone who has been given a terrible diagnosis? I can answer yes to the at least two of those questions. Tough questions pull at more than just heartstrings, they tug at the strings of our soul.  

Compassion has been on my mind because latterly because a lot has been made of Miss Colorado in the talent portion of the Miss American Beauty Pageant creating and performing her monologue on being “Just a Nurse.” The TV Show the View has lost sponsors this week after making fun of it on their show.  In the monologue Miss Colorado talks about the moment when she realized she was more than “just a nurse.” She was the person providing compassion for her patient. Compassion is an important part of the healing process, making a person feel important, cared for, and providing hope. What the hosts of The View were failing to realize is that providing compassion is a unique talent. Not to put down anyone who was disciplined as child and learned how to dance, or spent years honing their voice to create beautiful music, those types of talents are easy to spot. They create beautiful moments and jump off the stage at the audience and say, “I’m talented.”

Compassion is a sneaky difficult skill to figure out and even tougher to spot. I remember years ago when a client I worked with became angry with their mother not calling. He began to take his anger out of on me and threatened to kill me if I didn’t get a hold of his mom right away. He then became over heated and threw up.  Without thinking I handed him a glass of water, grabbed a rag and began to clean up the vomit. He looked at me cross-eyed and asked, “What are you doing?” I quickly replied, “Cleaning up. We don’t want your vomit smelling up your room, you won’t be able to sleep well tonight.” He went silent for about five minutes and then looked at me stating, “I threatened to kill you, and you still are willing to clean up after me?”  I just nodded my head in agreement. After I was done cleaning, I asked him if he needed anything else. He again looked puzzled and stated in question from, “I threatened to kill you and are asking me if I need anything else?”  I smiled one last time at him and replied, “It’s called compassion, get used to it, you will get that a lot around here.”

Compassion is more than just what you can see.  It is the ability to make a patient feel they have the strength to go on. It’s inspiring the student that no matter what they go home to they can be a star in the classroom.  It can also be looking at a drug user and treat them with dignity and respect to help them to see the potential you see in them.  It’s an unseen talent because it’s not dependent on an audience and does not create beautiful works of art for the world to marvel at.  Compassion does not reveal its glory in the person with the talent; it reveals its power in the patient, the student, or the person who is now inspired to move forward.

I started this blog with a list of questions because only the truly talented compassionate people can answer yes to them and they answer yes day after day. They have honed their skills in compassion over years just like the classic pianist pounded the keys year after year.  Let’s start treating compassionate talent with the same respect and awe we grant artists. Because just as great works of art add unmatched beauty to this world, wonderful moments of compassion add unparalleled amounts of hope.