Sunday Night With John: It’s Not Black and White and It Never Has Been

I had 75 minutes until my flight took off and I was attempting to get my reading for my class done. Public Policy reading isn’t as riveting as you would imagine especially when I woke up at 5:50 to make sure I made it the airport on time.  At the Cleveland airport a group of 5 older African-American gentlemen circled up near me. They were traveling together and began to chat about serious social issues. I stopped reading and began to eavesdrop on their conversation.  I was fascinated by the conversation, as was hearing about the Civil Rights movement from those who lived it in Memphis.

I sat there for the first ten minutes of their conversation taking in bits and pieces of what I could make out. I heard them talk about Martin Luther King Jr, I heard them talk about the recent Kim Davis fiasco in Kentucky, and good old Donald Trump running for president. I began to wonder, could I join in the conversation and how could I pull that off? In reality, it is easy to join a conversation with people, I just had to get up and ask. In practice it’s tougher, because to act as though there wasn’t an age and race gap would be rude and disrespectful. 

My inner dialogue began to convince me. “Just politely ask to join in!  No don’t do that they will think you are weird. They would appreciate someone listening to their wisdom from the years they have lived. Screw it get involved, when else are you going to have the chance to chat with these group of guys?”

So here it goes. “Excuse me guys, I overheard your conversation and would like to join in,” I asked.  It stunned the gentlemen as they all made eye contact with each other but not me. I felt like I had just put my foot in my mouth and was ready to sink back down in my chair when one of the men, said, “Sure, join in.”

I spent the next ten minutes just listening.  No one likes the new guy hogging the conversation and with my ability and propensity to chat it was tough. I learned one of the men was a retired, proud police officer who was very concerned about both sides of the debate in how the police are interacting with communities. It was refreshing to hear a man who obviously took pride in his job not just blame the man committing the crime and take a look at the use of excess force. He looked me in the eye and said, “If you are going to put on that uniform, you have to understand you are held to a higher standard. I know I did.”

The preacher of the group actually condemned the actions of Kim Davis. This blew me away as everything I have read on social media lead me to believe our country was divided religiously. He stated, “As a Christian I struggle with the choice of our judicial branch but I also believe deeply in freedom of religion. If we start going done the road of allowing who ever is in power to enforce their religion beliefs every religion is in danger.” He also stated, “Kim Davis should resign if this is how she truly believes and stop dividing people. My religion is about uniting people.”

Lastly, the man who was quiet most of the time made a statement I had never thought of before. He said he struggles with the LGBTQ community piggy backing the Civil Rights Movement. I perked up by this statement and asked why. He stated, “I don’t think the LGBTQ community should be discriminated against but they have the luxury of being able to hide. I didn’t have the luxury of hiding the color of my skin.  He stated that he never got a break from being black.  I don’t know if I agree with him or not, I just I have never heard that type of statement before.  It gave me something to think about.

The media and politicians would have you believing we aren’t capable of having these types of conversations.  That we don’t have the courage to cross racial, gender, or sexuality lines where we find common ground and discuss without yelling. Where we listen without judging, where we don’t think we are always right, and where we don’t spend the whole conversation proving we are. When my new friends flight was called and they headed to home to Memphis we all shook hands and they thanked me for asking to join.  We found common ground, we disagreed on some topics and I even made a couple of points that had the old men shaking their heads in agreement. The issues we are facing have never been cut evenly down the middle.  It’s not black and white. It’s not native vs. immigrant, and it’s not traditional marriage vs. non-traditional marriage. If 5 African American men with 60 years worth of wisdom can chat and listen to a young Caucasian 33 year old man, we are still capable of rising above the noise of complicated issues and proving it has never been black and white.