Sunday Night With John: Me, Myself and I Go Running

I was doing laundry one day when I was 27.  The washer and dryer happened to be down two flights of stairs and after two trips I was breathing heavy, and needed a break.  As I gulped down a large glass of water I realized I had allowed myself to fall out of shape over the last year. Embarrassed by my inability to do laundry without getting winded at such a young age, I vowed that day to get back in shape.  Since then I have run, hiked swam, biked, and even did “Insanity” to go from 220 pounds to 190 pounds.

My most frequent activity has continued to be running. It’s the most no fuss way to exercise.  I just throw on a pair of shoes and take off down the road as far as I can.  Although I must admit that I hated running at first. I would try to counter my discontent by listening to music to numb the pain of each step to reach the next mile marker. I thought the music would motivate me and make the time more enjoyable or at least more bearable. It was working as I began to run 5, 6, and 7 miles with ease. I wasn’t very fast at first but I was increasing distance and chipping away at my out of shape body.  Eventually my phone broke and I was forced to run without music. I dreaded the first run and it didn’t go well. My mind started to wonder without music to focus it. Random thoughts, grandiose thoughts, disturbing thoughts, humorous memories, and numerous other brain functions continually interrupted my running. I had lost my flow and I returned home discouraged about the future of my running until I chalked up the dough to get my phone fixed.

I was going to have to trudge through two weeks of running with me, myself and I and my own thoughts.  I decided to not fight my mind wondering from one thing to another. I wasn’t going to fight my brain.  Instead I gave it permission to peruse my thoughts at will. At first it was awkward, as I wasn’t used to not being stimulated by some form of entertainment.   As I started to pay attention to my thoughts, some of them would scare me.  Some would make me laugh.  Other times I would make life plans in my head, or I would think myself out of those life plans.  More importantly when I was done with my run I was energized and traveling further distances than I ever had.  We spend so much time focused on tasks and what’s next that we often forget to wonder about the future, the past, what makes us tick. I have a feeling kids allow their heads to wander, daydream, and contemplate to their hearts content. I tend to think that as adults we lose this wonderment because we believe we have to focus on what’s next all the time.  We have to be plugged in because if we aren’t we might miss something.

As I prepared for my 13 mile run yesterday I was excited about leaving the music behind as I have done for the last 5 years. I was excited that my brain was going to have two hours to wander wherever it wanted.  I couldn’t wait to take time to allow myself to think big, think small, and think however I wanted to for two hours while my legs, lungs, and heart carried my body 13 miles.  I write this blog today to encourage you to find an activity that will allow you to get lost in your thoughts. I challenge you to allow your thoughts and emotions to speak and explore the vast expanse of our conscience.  It has made my focus better when I have to be on task because my brain doesn’t yearn to be off task.  It knows that I will go for a run soon with me, myself and I.