Sunday Night With John: No, No, No, Thank You!

For the last 11 years I have worked with at-risk youth when I wasn’t public speaking. As you wonderful people have spread the word about my talk and my blog, the message of “Share Emotions, Emotions Matter” has grown to new heights. It has led me to the satisfying but difficult decision move onto a new chapter in my life. I decided the biggest things my life needed was more time to spend on furthering my education, focus on cultivating my public speaking into new areas, and an emphatic approach in reaching a bigger audience. That meant the decision to work closer to home to create time for studying and to connect with my audience. Before I walk out into the uncertainty of a new job, pursuing my master’s degree, and deepening my message in public speaking, I have some important thoughts and feelings I would like to share about my 11 years with working with at-risk youth. 

Today I write to the youth who I was placed in charge of to help lead and guide them to a better place in life.  The profound impact that these wonderful people had on me will never be forgotten. I already look back fondly on memories that we created together. You didn’t just become a part of my life; you wove your ways into the very fabric of who I am. I felt the only way to pay tribute to that was to give you these thoughts and feelings that I walk away with.

I want to say thank you because even though it was my job to help you improve, it was me who was getting schooled on how to live the best life. I now understand the true meaning of courage. I witnessed so many of you without families, or families that disappointed you, wake up every morning with the fortitude to still tackle life, smile and say good morning. I see people who haven’t been through half of what you have fall part completely.   I saw you stare demons of abuse and neglect in the face and scoff at the notion that it would get the better of you.  

I have seen the ultimate definition of empathy, as I have witnesses so many of you face obstacles that were out of your control and support, encourage and console each other through hard moments.   I’ve seen you connect with others over your most painful moments. I over heard you tell your peers life would be all right and you put your disappointment on the back burner to take care of another person.  I saw you band together to help each other and more importantly, watched you not leave a peer behind.

I have seen your intellect and stalwart bravery as you figure out how to overcome problems that most of have never faced. I’ve seen you not just survive, but thrive through the loss of family, countless rejections, and what must feel like endless change.  I understand the true depth of forgiveness as you not once, not twice, not three times, but as many times as it takes, give people chance after chance to be a part of your life. You showed over and over again that everyone deserves chances to mend fences and to always be willing to change your mind about how you feel about another person.  If the world were as forgiving as you all are it would be an improved place.

My belief deepened in never being ashamed of your emotions as I witnessed you having so many conversations with each of you about how you felt about a father who wasn’t there, or a mother on drugs.  I watched you share deep and scary emotions with numerous people and then in the next breath say it will all be okay.  I saw your tears of sadness but at the same time I caught the resolve in your eyes as you dug deep to overcome those tough moments.  I will never underestimate the power of laughter as I have laughed with you over the pain you have endured or the stupid things we do in life.  Oh, the laughter, your defiant laughter, that even in moments where you felt little hope, you would allow laughter in.  You would fight back the anger with loudest and most boisterous laughter I have ever heard. I will carry that sound with me where ever I go.

I will always remember your grit because no matter what, you woke up everyday ready to fight for what you wanted. You withstood the nastiest parts of humanity and came out punching back. You screamed I will not go without a fight. I will always carry with me your importance of trust as you learned how to trust me even though a number of adults in your life proved untrustworthy. Earning your trust was my duty and all my relationships outside of my work improved because you taught me the importance of being true to your word.  Lastly, I know what sincere hope looks like, as you never gave up even though you were given a bad start. You talked of a better life when you are older. You talked about not if, but when these life struggles are behind me, I will go to college, I will be a better mom, I will have my family, and I will be happy.

Through it all you gave me back more than I could have even hoped for.  I hope you think about your time with me and say, John took care of me, John taught me some things about life, John was trustworthy, and John made me laugh.  All we can hope for is that the people we have interacted with leave us better then they found us.  I am better than when you found me. As I take my sabbatical to pursue my master’s degree, further my public speaking message, and learn new things from new people, I know I have a better chance to reach my career goals due to each one of you.  More importantly, I’m on my way to becoming the best possible version of me because of all lessons and life advice you gave me.  You thought you were getting help from me; the truth is we were always bettering each other. Iron sharpens Iron. Thank You!