Sunday Night With John: The Big 31

Today is my 31st birthday, and birthdays have way of making us retrace the foot steps of our past and gaze upon the path at what might be our future. I figured it would be fun to take a look at my emotional and thought profile at age 11, 21, and 31. What made me happy, sad, excited, nervous and other feelings. What were my goals and dreams?  My favorite meals, vacations, activities, and coping skills. Who were my idols, and what did I try to avoid, and where did I see myself heading?

John Paul at age 11:

Happy: Playing basketball, talking with my dad, and taking family vacations.

Sad: Not getting the new toy I wanted, Not being allowed to go with friends, My parents still not thinking I was mature enough to stay home alone

Nervous: Still didn’t know how to talk to girls, spelling tests, (which would still make me nervous today).  When my mom said,  "Wait till your Dad gets home," and following in my brothers foot steps.

Excited: Going to Cleveland Cavs games, Sunday football, snow days, water park trips, and french toast for breakfast.

Angry: My brother picking on me, when I got caught in a lie, and not starting on the basketball team.

Goals: Start on my basketball team, go to college after high school, and not live in my brother’s shadow.

Dreams: Play in the NBA

Favorite Meal: Swedish meatballs, french toast, dad’s sunday meal

Favorite Vacation: Staying at State Parks with four other families that had kids my age.

Favorite activity: Playing basketball wherever I could.

Best Coping skill: Talking with my dad and dribbling a basketball.

Idols: Larry Johnson, my dad, and Bernie Kosar.

What did I avoid?: Dishes, homework, and  the mowing lawn

Where did I see my self heading?:  A long life where I achieved my goals.

John Paul at age 21:

Happy: Hanging with friends, skipping college classes (Still hadn’t found my direction), playing basketball, flirting with girls (I learned how to talk to them after all), writing, and working with inner city youth.

Sad: Thinking about the death of my dad and Eric, disappointing my family, still struggling emotionally after depression, and suicidal thoughts at the end of my time in high school, My first college closing and no longer being on a basketball team.

Nervous: Getting kicked out of school (I was on academic probation). Growing up, and wondering what I was going to do with my life and talking with my mom about what I was still struggling with.

Excited: The weekends, visiting with my brother and sister, playing in a band with Kyle and Braden, working with inner city kids, NBA playoffs.

Angry: Not getting my way, having to write papers about stuff I already knew about, Trying to figure why I had to have two people I loved die. People questioning my motives

Goals: Figure out what I want to do with my life and graduate college.  Figure out a way to stay in touch with my college friends and become closer to my family.

Dreams: Get the book I was writing published.

Favorite meal: Chicken tenders from Applebee’s with honey mustard sauce and french toast.

Favorite Vacation: The Last vacation my family took with dad. We went to Jamestown, Virginia and a couple of amusement parks.

Favorite Activity: Playing basketball, and playing drums in a band with my two best friends.

Best Coping skills: Writing

Idols: My dad

What did I avoid: Any serious relationships, my mom, and schoolwork

Where did I see my self-going: I had now clue where I was headed and I didn’t want to be a loser. A year later, I met Dr. Ken Jones and he finally gave me direction.

John Paul at 31

Happy: Spending time with loved ones, landing speaking gigs, playing basketball, running, making a difference in the lives of others.

Sad: When I can’t communicate what I want clearly (especially with my fiancé).  When I let others down and when I can’t make my goals.  When I lose sight of my life-long goals

Nervous: Not much: The last event that made my knees shake nervous was asking my fiancé’s parents permission to marry her, and then again asking her to marry me

Excited: When I land a speaking engagements, getting married, when I know all my college friends will be in the same place, hiking, and when comic book movies come out (still a dork).

Angry: When I fail, and when I feel like I’m at a dead end.

Goals: Become a full time speaker and start my own non-profit, being a great husband, and being fully present in as many moments as I can

Dreams: To become a father, have a great family, be a full time speaker, and reach Machu-Pichu

Favorite meal: Thai burgers, Yotopia, and french toast

Favorite Vacation: My two week road trip with my three best friends across the Western part of the country, going to Seattle with my fiancé, and hiking the Superior hiking Trial

Favorite Activity: Too many to name...

Best Coping skill: Talking with loved ones (Fiancé, brother, sister, mom, Kyle and Braden), running and reading.

Idols: No one.  I got some great advice from a friend, don’t look up to anyone.  Put yourself in a position to look at everyone

What I avoid: Mowing the lawn (some things will always stay the same)

Where do I see my self-going: Into a great marriage with a wonderful person, continuing to public speak as much as I can, and making a difference in the lives of others whenever and wherever I can.

Life has a way of taking us on twists and turns and over the last 20 years, things have changed for me, as they do for everyone. I always make the point that no matter who we are in life, we all become angry, sad, and happy.  It's just the story of how we got there that differs. It's the same for us at different stages in life.  Some things take on greater importance, some things stay, and some things fall off. What will never change is that life will make us emotional on a day to day basis and it should. All I can say about today is that it's my 31st birthday and I'm happy!

That's me at age 11 with my sister and future brother in law. That's a pretty sweet Montreal Expo hat that I wish I still had. Above my family is a picture from a school field trip

Kyle, Braden, and I  the day of my 21st birthday.  The three us of would go on to earn the nickname: peas in a pod. That hat said dork on it, I thought I was making a social statement, don't think it happened.  

My fiancé and I about two months before I turned 31.

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