Sunday Night With John: This One Time At Band Camp...

So this one time at band camp I hung out with a guy named Josh. We cracked jokes, goofed off, and then went our separate ways after marching band was over.  Over the years when I thought about high school I would remember Josh always cracked me up. When I saw he was starting a new band in his late 20s my ears perked up and I paid attention.  When he would post a video and I would check it out. I liked what I heard but more importantly I like the idea of people still chasing their dreams.

I saw his band Seafair had gained traction in Cleveland and was breaking out to Chicago and I messaged him on Facebook (this is an example of using Facebook correctly) and asked if his band was playing in Iowa City anytime because a lot of bands swing through.  He said they aren’t coming out this far yet. The yet made me smile.  This guy thinks he is onto something and this band is going to grow. We exchanged some emails and he admitted he is a Sunday Night With John reader. Our email exchanges grew to other topics. What follows is an edited transcript from our conversations about still chasing dreams, being married, memories, and moving forward in life pushing for the best days to still be ahead of us.

Go to their website to check out more about them before you read on http://www.seafairtheband.com/home

Josh: What did you enjoy the most about marching band, any fond memories? One of mine was the year we did the swing numbers and you had the swing dance routine with the flag line!

John: I loved the swing dance. I have the tape at my sister’s house in Ohio somewhere. What I loved was the eclectic personalities; there was every kind of stereotype from high school interacting. It helped move me from just being a sports junkie and my sense of humor grew. I think being in the band created a base for me to seek out different, odd, weird, and fun people. Thinking back about it I always think about Adam Kapis, Sue Yeager, Laurie Marz, Sarah Cresho, Jackie Lavoie, you, and many more that put a smile on my face in many different ways. (Sorry if I butchered anyone’s last name). In our email exchange to set up this blog you commented about my carefree attitude and confidence, what about my behavior led you to think that?

Josh: You always had a smile on your face. You moved effortlessly through the room. You were always quick with a joke or being goofy. So what took you to Iowa?

John: I needed space from what I went through with death in my small town and I needed to be away from the town I grew up in. I had a lot of pent up pain and I felt space would help. More importantly, I stayed in Iowa because of the friendships I carved out. I do great out here with the support system I have developed. I discreetly moved home for 4 months when I was 24ish, it didn't sit well with me. I love visiting Ohio and love my family dearly; I just do better with the friends out here. I grew up in Iowa; I began to understand the death of my father and Eric because of these relationships.

 You were in a band in high school, how many bands did your go through before landing with Seafair? Did those experiences lead to Seafair or was this a happy surprise?

Josh: I was in 4 bands with Seafair being the 4th. While looking for a vocalist for the 3rd band I came across Chayla, she sang for the 3rd group. Once that ended we still wanted to write together so we went about getting Seafair started. Yes all of the previous experiences lead to Seafair, from the things that worked to the things that didn't. The things I learned about song writing in the 1st group I still carry with me.

What set you on the path of motivational speaker? 

John: I would correct one thing; I do not consider myself a motivational speaker. I feel I fall in the category of inspirational speaker. I don't think I can motivate people to do much, but if I create a talk that gets a person thinking about life, their circumstances, other's circumstances, and other stuff I think I can inspire change. Inspiration will lead them to their own life changing thoughts; help them start their own path. I want people when they hear me speak to be inspired, not motivated. I think motivation comes and goes but inspiration as a way of sticking with you.  Let me step down off my soapbox, and answer your question.

A college professor saw something special in me with the way interacted with people. The way I spoke in class about topics, and the way I was passionate about telling stories, hearing stories, and relating them to life. He spent a lot of time with me talking about how I could change the world (it sounded corny when he said it). I was young enough to believe him, and started talking. I was amazing to see people so open after hearing my stories. I feel in love with creating an emotional safe place for people through sharing inspiring, funny, meaningful, and painful stories.

 If you had to boil your band's creative message down to a paragraph what would it be?

Josh: Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the challenges. Enjoy the failures. Enjoy the successes. One of the greatest complements I've received was "everyone left here tonight with a smile"

What inspired you to start blogging?

John: I hate the word blog, it sounds like you are trying to talk and throw up and at the same time. I felt I had more to say than just what my speaking engagements topics are about. I love connecting with my audience and blogging was an easy way to make that connection.

Explain the process of filming a music video? How does the story get hashed out among the band's members?

Josh: Well first off it's exciting doing one! I love films and being around and being apart of something creative just fills me with joy! So for all of our videos thus far, Ryan (our drummer) has had the original idea. He brings it to us and we might shoot some suggestions back and forth. Once we get a solid idea of what we want to do we get the video team together (that varies from project to project), have them collaborate with us in what would work, what wouldn't, and start molding a final draft. Then when we shoot we might have some inspiration here and there but everything is pretty well hashed out by that point. Seafair – Discovery http://youtu.be/4HP84DgUGB4

Josh: How or where do you find inspiration for your Sunday nights with John topics?

John: I find inspiration everywhere. Passing conversations, topical political or social moments, re-connecting with old friends, or finding new friends can all lead to a blog topic. There are great happy moments, and tragic sad moments that just resonate with me and I feel compelled to share my thoughts or a story about them. Take this blog for example. We grew up kind of together but when I saw your band was going to be in Chicago, it connected us together again. Two guys who hung out a couple of times chasing dreams and trying to reach bigger audiences. Its unfortunate but at 30 a lot of people give up the big dream and settle into a routine. My thought was talking about our passions would show nobody is done at dreaming no matter their age. I thought, I bet we have some of the same problems; we have traveled so far from each other since high school but ended up in the same spot. That is a compelling story if you ask me.

My creative process public speaking is between myself, testing out ideas my wife, and accessing my support system. What is your creative process, and how difficult is it to carve out a creative space with the emotions of the other members in play? 

Josh: It's all about being respectful of each other. When we write we start with one member bringing an idea to the floor. Now that might be as simple as an intro to a song or a whole skeleton of a song. Song structure pretty much worked out but still just one instrument written. From there each member will start writing his or her part around it. Or we will start pounding away at restructuring the song. Or the idea doesn't work and we move on. It can be a grueling process or seemingly effortless. It depends on the day and the idea.

Some of my favorite songs or favorite songwriters are brutally honest. Even though I absolutely love them for their truth telling. I wonder if they suffered consequences (e.g. the relationship ending or a fight with a friend or whatever unseen ramifications.)

Do you think there is such a thing as being too truthful? How do you ride that line?

John: Too truthful? No I don't we cane be too truthful but I think we confuse brutal honesty with selfish truthfulness. We often get stuck in our head with only our view, which leads us to our view of the situation, our personal truth. When it comes to matters outside of facts such as love, hurt, pain, and emotions there are many truths. Being honest is essential for every relationship but we have to realize sometimes we are being 100% honest for selfish reasons and that the truth we have arrived at may be wrong.

 No longer a young pup, but not yet an old man, what kept you seeking out music and the right people to share your love of music with the world?

Josh: Because I had to! I'm driven to it. Between the 3rd group and Seafair there was quite a lull. I was pretty depressed because I wasn't creating. To make things worse I was approaching my 30th birthday *gasp* I had put this expiration on my dreams. "If this doesn't get traction by the time I'm 30 I'm going have to figure something else out." When I was seeking out people for the group you meet all kinds. We went through 7 drummers before finding Ryan. When I met him he inspired me. I believe he was 31 or 32 when he joined the band. He was in a bunch of groups before us. And here he was trying out for another group "at his age." Right then and there I got over that ridiculous idea that I had! This is a thing that I love and I'm not going to give up on it!

Do you approach things differently now that you are married?

John: Yes, I quickly realized how selfish my thinking was and had to adjust if I was going to stay married. I had someone else I had to put first. It was difficult at first for a long time my first thoughts have always been what do I want? How do I make this work for me? I had and I am still changing my approach to we, and putting her first. The crazy thing was I didn't view myself as selfish because of my chosen profession. Helping those in need is a very unselfish activity. It was a rude awakening when I began to realize I still had some selfishness demons to work out. I will ask you the same since you are recently married

Josh: I didn't know what I was missing until I found my wife. I found someone who complements my personality. Someone who supports and encourages my dreams, someone that lets me flourish and doesn't stifle me. Someone I can laugh and have fun with. Don't settle. Life is so much better with someone that focuses on your strengths and not your faults. We are our own worst critics. I can stop myself from writing in a single thought "this is stupid or this sucks" etc. Where do you go when these thoughts creep up? Do you keep going? Set the idea aside? Analyze?

John: I just push through and trust my support system. I have written terrible blogs over the last two year and my wife corrected some of those turds and polished them up real good. A stupid thought might lead me to a better one. A bad blog might reveal a better one down the line. It’s a tough mindset to adopt but I do fully believe in just keep pushing, and learn to ride the waves of ups and downs. It's tougher than it sounds; ask me how I feel about the process when I have gone a month without booking a gig. I will give you weird looks and inconstant answers. Then that one email comes about a recent blog, a comment, or I book a gig and I'm all like "I'm on top of the world," and I start thinking I'm days away from going viral." I have learned to pace myself and enjoy the ride. I'm a kid who grew up in a small town of Orwell, Ohio who gets to tell stories and have people laughing over some of the darker moments in life, pretty good gig. I have people tell me John if I can laugh at it, it isn't so scary. As you move through life what life mantra has stood the test of time with you?

Josh: Do what you say. Say what you mean. 

John: This was the last answer I needed from Josh.  The point of catching up for me was to see how two guys in their 30s can find the effort, the will, and the passion most days to continue pushing for their dream, share a message, or music with the world. Josh’s last answer summed it up for me pretty well. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Words carrying great meaning chose them carefully. For a story teller there is no higher truth.

Check out Seafair and tell your friends about them. You can find out more information at

http://www.seafairtheband.com/

If you are a Seafair fan, please keep stopping by my website and check out my message.

I want to thank Josh and Seafair for permission to share our conversation, and I hope this brings them a couple more fans in Iowa, and me a couple of readers in Ohio.  Maybe a trip to Iowa City for the band to play a great show, or an venue for me to speak in my home state again. Just so the band knows my wife and I will host the whole gang when you land the Iowa City gig. 

I just happened to be in Ohio this weekend and carved out some time to have dinner with Josh and his wife.