Sunday Night With John: Why I Suck As A Human Being

Why I Suck As A Being Human

John Paul Derryberry

There is a line in my all-time favorite comedy, Tommy Boy, that speaks to all our innermost thoughts when we struggle 

Tommy: Hey, what's your name?

Helen: Helen.

Tommy: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into a guy's office. Let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well, then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo, the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is my possible sale. Hello there pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe, I love it, I love my little naughty pet. You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet, and I go [makes ripping noises as he tears apart the dinner roll] OOOOOOHHH! I killed it! I killed my sale! And that's when I blow it. That's when people like us have gotta forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?

Who hasn’t had a melt down like this at some point in their lives? Yet, We live in an increasingly reactive society pushing for perfection from our leaders and ourselves. Our President cannot admit a mistake, and the Democratic challenger he defeated is still going around blaming everyone but herself. We wildly swing from complete celebration of our achievements to utter denial that any misstep was our fault. We scoff at any dissent in our opinion of ourselves and actively seek out only those with our worldview. Not today, at least not for me. As I mapped out my year-end blog, I had this one circled as the most important, the most positive, even knowing I was going to rip myself. 

I am an imperfect human, chasing a better understanding of myself. Not acknowledging my imperfections denies a big part of what makes me, me. If they are never recognized, they can never be accounted for, improved on, and accepted as part of me. To fail and try again is divine. To admit fault is an opportunity for growth. To never admit weakness means never finding our counter balances within significant others, friends, and strangers. To not know our flaws is never fully showing compassion for others. We cannot give others hope until we have demonstrated forgiveness for ourselves. 

If I were in Tommy Boy, the quote would look like this: 

John: Hey, what's your name?

Helen: Helen.

John: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both humans. Let me tell you why I suck as a human. I'm the worse judge of time on the planet. I always think I can shrink a 30-minute task into 20, causing me to either be in a hurry or late, which is disrespectful to the people waiting for me. I'm aloof and often zone out, making those around me feel like I do not care or that I'm not listening. I do care, and I want to listen, but damn it, daydreaming is so much fun. I can be overconfident, causing me to not prepare for life as I should sometimes, leading me to be in the middle of difficult situations. Then I start to freak out in my head and start my self-talk about how I'm the stupidest, dumbest person on the planet. I can be mean and unforgiving toward others whom I assume should know better. I have moments where I feel the world owes me a break in the karma bank that has not come, and that's when I blow it. I shut down and mope around the house doing nothing, hating myself more and more with each passing minute. That's when people like us have gotta forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?

That's the key with this quote, we must forge ahead.  Every human alive sucks some of the time. This truth should liberate all of us. It should free us up to find people who steer us away from our sucky parts and toward our better qualities. It should allow us to have patience with others who are struggling, knowing that, too, could be us if our uglier side won out more often. Accepting our imperfections is the most positive thing we can do this holiday season. Once we realize we suck at being human, we will hug our loved ones a little tighter for accepting us, flaws and all. I mean, it's not like all of a sudden I'm going to start getting to places on time, and yet my wife still forges ahead with her growing love for me. 

This imperfect speaker, who is a very flawed writer, and has his share of imperfections as a human is honored to live along side of you. I have many friends making life fun and a pool of loved ones championing me on. I suck. I know it, and I forge ahead. It's a purposeful, passionate, and daily action to forge ahead knowing I have faults. My life is deeper, more meaningful and positive because of all of me, the good parts and the flaws. 

I have two blogs left for 2018, one about coming together no matter the circumstances, and one about the most courageous act I witnessed in 2018, so I can start 2019 off feeling brave. 

As always, if you want to thank me for Sunday Night with John, please drop me an email, a comment, share it, email Ellen to have me on her show, or tell someone to book me for their event.