Sunday Night With John: Why Me?
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Why Me?
John Paul Derryberry
Six years ago, I was sitting at my desk when a supervisor walked in and dropped off a referral for what they described as a compelling case. They commented, we hired you for situations like this, so tell me if we are ready to bring in a person with this type of mental health and traumatic background. I excitedly opened the case file, as I gravitate toward interesting, every other agency has passed on them, cases. When I read the name, my heart dropped three stories, to the basement of the building.
After I retrieved my heart, I let my supervisor know the referral was for a young person I had had in a previous agency. I notified my boss that we were not ready to admit a complicated case like this. I think about this moment every day in my professional life. We tell people they will heal in our care, they will find a better life, and then the proof that you lied is staring you in the face. It stings. It hurts. And it either numbs you to the doldrums of social work, or it drives you to make changes to your process, to improve, so less of these situations occur. I buckled down to get better at that moment and every moment after.
People come into my life believing they can find a better experience, whether that's through an assigned case or a speaking event. Until my record is 100 percent complete recovery, I can't stop rushing myself and those around me forward. People often ask me, why should I entrust you with my audience, my child, my friend, my sibling. It's hard to describe the answer without sounding egotistical or like a used car saleman, but everything I described above is the reason why. I view every interaction with others who are struggling as a chance to swing their life toward a better version of themselves. It's the most crucial interaction I will have until the next one.
I have learned through many mentors the importance that energy, passion, and over-running, unfiltered optimism are to tackling our problems. They each taught me in my own way to:
Take every failure personally and not chalk it up to the system.
Take every case that other professionals have abandoned and tell your team, we are the one team that will solve it.
Take every opportunity, as this will be the one that changes everything for everyone.
Lastly, take every setback with a smile but determined eyes and come back at the problem, again and again
Every day I challenge the status quo on mental and emotional health. We can redefine it. We can change the slipping outcomes. We can lessen the burden of others. We can refocus what we pay attention to. We can change the system. That's the path I walk. I hope we get to walk it together from time to time.