They See Her

They See Her

John Paul Derryberry

It was a hot morning—the kind of morning if you have little ones, you are on a clock. You know it's a ticking time bomb for outside time. At some point, they will lose it, and rightfully so. In our little part of Iowa, it’s been so hot you wish it were winter again. Little kids are not supposed to handle that type of heat. What made it worse for my girls this morning was that we were standing outside with no shade, doing our best to wait for their mom to take center stage at our town's most recent park opening.

Anne, their mom and the Park Board Chairwoman, was fourth in line to talk. I was already doing the math in my head about how to get a 6-year-old and almost 7-year-old to last through three speeches from people they do not know. Knowing there was new playground equipment to explore was not helping the situation. Yet my two little girls mostly held it together, only chirping about when it was Mom's turn to go.

When it was mom's turn, one wanted up, but the other couldn't take their eyes off of mom. I'm the speaker in the family, usually with the microphone in my hand. Yet here were two little girls getting to see, hear, and witness their mom's passion for works of art being present in as many community spaces as possible. Their mom talked about how our hometown creates special spaces for everyone, not just a select few—seeing how others view their mom as a leader, a force for good, and someone who cares deeply for their community and others.

Anne once told me that one of her favorite things about me is how I show up for her. She doesn't understand how easily she makes it to show up for her. The stuff she does is cool, the people she brings together are incredible, and she does it with little to no conflict. I couldn't do it the way she does, and I want my girls to see, hear, and feel that stuff. I know they won’t remember what their mom said. But they will remember the community paused to listen to her essential words, clapped, and trusted her judgment in a big moment for the community.

We all desire to be seen. Some want to be seen by a few people, and others by many. Some want to be seen by select people, and others by everyone. My wife wants to be seen by the correct people to get stuff done. I want my girls to witness that as much as possible. That day, they saw their mom as a wonderful person, not just their mom. That type of view is essential for our little ones to see people for who they are. My girls caught a perfect glimpse of who their mom is.