In A Timely Manner

In A Timely Manner

John Paul Derryberry

My dad had his own internal clock that drove him to never really arrive anywhere on time. He used to joke all the time; I get where I get when I get there, so I can't really be late. I inherited some of that gene, but have honed my abilities in the timely manner department to respect other folk's time tables from time to time. My interaction with timeliness is a flurry of action, then a meandering, and then a flurry of activity followed by a longer meandering. I enjoy a winding, meandering walk, deep dive, drawn-out conversation, and an absolutely accomplishing-nothing session. While I agree with my dad, the world is always in a freaking hurry to get somewhere next, only to hurry onto the ensuing location as fast as possible. There is something about understanding the time cadence of others in our orbit that is compassionate and respectful. 

It's funny how often we feel people should always be up to our speed or functioning, when it comes to time. After interacting with many different people over all these years, we sould learn to enjoy others' idiosyncrasies. Yet we look at a clock and the time involved and say to ourselves, yes, this should go exactly as fast or slow, short or as long as I want it. Let me tell you, go to any conference and watch a presenter run over their allotted with no regard for the others presenting. You'll see how little we comprehend that we share this time together.

Think about relationships and people wanting commitments too fast or too slow. Or our careers, promotions, raises, and time off, thinking it should move faster than it possibly can. Let alone how upset we get for people driving the speed limit. Someone doing 55 on a highway when the speed limit is 55 causes a significant amount of road rage in 85% of the population. The follower of the speed limit is actually going about their business at the approved legal time. We often think about time and only how it affects us. Yet my kids, wife, employees, and audience members only get one March 8th, 2023, with me, and how I spend that should be respectful for all involved. 

I noticed something about the notion of time when I did enough storytelling events to get valuable feedback. When I ran over, it was always noted as a negative, and when I closed even a minute early,  it was emphasized that time was used wisely. So even though I felt the points I made when I ran over were terrific, the audience had decided they were fine with their time with me. It's always lonely when we realize we wasted our time with others after the clock runs out.  Time wasted has to be one of the biggest things my clients, audience members, and employees express to me. Either clinging to something that wasn't working, someone whose timing didn't match up, or realizing people are tuning you out because you ran over your time. 

The reality is the clock runs out on us all. Every relationship, every interaction, and every story has its end. So how we use our time has a significant multiplier or divider of how great our life is. But the key is understanding, it's not just how we use it; it's how we learn to fluctuate between our speed and those around us that we impact. We know this feeling well. It's when we describe things to people as: it was the perfect timing, the stars aligned. What really happened was we stopped marching to the beat of our clock and learned to understand how to share time. It takes work. Please remember there are moments to be selfish with our time. Still, something good happens if we sync up the clocks with those around us enough to create space for success, happiness, and growth for as many as possible. The clock is always ticking, but learning to ebb and flow with others is the best way to do life in a timely manner