Was That It?

Was That It?

John Paul Derryberry

There is always a moment after a storytelling session, if I don't have another event booked, that I think- that's it. I'll never do that again. It's a sinking feeling that something I love doing and that has given me so many great connections is over. Of course, the pandemic's stopping, starting, and starting ebb and flow didn't help. At one point during the pandemic, I felt it might be the end of my public speaking; it was too hard to jump-start again.

Yet here I sit, finishing up a Saturday afternoon talk at the Mason City Library with three more talks slated to occur in September and October. I'm reminded of the hard work it took to start this endeavor 17 years ago when I thought I could change the focus of the conversations around mental and emotional health. Yet, I sit here today, knowing for those who have heard my talk, I have adjusted those conversations for the better. But, more importantly, I'm keenly aware of how all these interactions and connections have made me a better person.

I had to refuse to give up on this adventure roughly ten times when I thought maybe it was slipping away. I guess that's what resiliency ultimately gives us. Not the ability to always know how to solve our problems, but the energy to keep attempting to solve them; to know there is a reason to keep moving forward with this idea that we have shared with the world.

I think we often are led to think resiliency eventually takes us to a solution. I do not believe that is the case. Sometimes no matter how hard we try, how many angles there are to examine a problem from and gather the strength to strive again, we might not get that perfect movie-ending conclusion. I would guess the non-wonderful life movie ending occurs a heck of a lot more than it does. That doesn't mean those resilient folks are wasting their time. It means they have learned the process may be worth more than that perfect conclusion to our journey.

All I know is the resiliency to keep my talks going led me to have three really awesome conversations about mental and emotional health today. These discussions would not have occurred if I had given up during the pandemic, when I switched jobs, moved cities, and the other reasons that almost ended my storytelling career. All these years later, I think that what keeps me going is those conversations after the events. They are so cool, soul-filling, and much more than my original goal 17 years ago.

Some day I will tell my last story from the stage. Today was not that day. I have three more on my fall tour. When it ends, I will have a slight tug at the back of my thoughts: Was that it? Was that the last time? Odds are it won't be because I feel like I'm hitting my storytelling groove. I loved it more than 17 years ago. It's in a better space than when I started, heck, a better place than 5 years ago. That's what resiliency has done for it, made it better and more meaningful, even if I haven't crafted the perfect conclusion. But I have crafted an excellent story arc, and that's a dream come true in storytelling. How that arc ends, who knows, but I'm resilient enough to find out.