I Don't Know What I'm Doing-and that's okay

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing- And That’s Okay

John Paul Derryberry

I found myself in a familiar position recently. Yet again, I have no clue what I'm doing or how to complete my tasks. Depending on the time of day you come across me, my answer to my predicament is by design or pure luck. But, of course, whether this is by strategy or chance, the honest answer is that it's always somewhere in the middle. I have always pushed the professional boundaries, often pushing so far I have lost sight of how to do my job.

I pushed those boundaries with behavioral interventions, stretching projects to their limit, admitting clients that others wouldn't, or leaning hard on storytelling for my public speaking. Yet, I have always felt the answer to how to do what I want is out there in the ether of me not having a clue of what I'm doing and figuring it out as I go. I feel something about not knowing creates a type of focus that allows us to grow. It's just finding the bravery to step out in the unknown. It's a scary, big step, but it's where all the great stuff in life happens.

The skill I have had to hone over the years is asking for help when I'm in the middle, not having a clue. The tricky part is finding folks who will navigate and guide us while we learn our new skill or complete this task that we are in way over our heads. But all the best in life happens when we enter a venue where we have no idea what we are doing. We have no clue when we leave for college, enter relationships, marriage, parenthood, a new career, promotion, struggle with mental, emotional, or physical health, or start a big project. We fake as if we do, but we don't. I would argue that makes it extraordinary, brave, life-changing, and necessary for our lives to have any purpose.

The trick is realizing that many more of us don't have a clue than we do. This fact is because so many of us hide the notion; we haven't a clue out of fear of rejection if we say it out loud. It's not a sign of weakness to not know what you're doing. On the contrary, it signifies wanting to learn, grow, and change course. It's a noble pursuit. One that more of us should honestly engage in-- not knowing what we are doing. I'm currently in the middle of it, both with my storytelling and professionally, and it's a place where I find comfort. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I figure out what I'm doing in time.